Are you calling the shots in your life? Or do you feel as though life keeps happening to you and you’re constantly putting out fires and dealing with crises? Are you placing your happiness on conditions that are continuously moving just out of reach? This is common for most people until they make the active decision to become the Prime Mover of their reality. Choosing to be the one that acts puts you in the position of being the God of your own life. You make the choices, and life fulfills them for you. That is the main goal of your Dark Ascent: to claim power over the events in your life. This chapter is dedicated to helping you see the path to becoming the Prime Mover in your life, and causing life to adapt to you instead of the other way around. If you wish to be the master of your world, click play and take one more massive step on your journey into darkness.
Elinara: Thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that, and no other shall say nay.
Melektoth: Welcome to The Dark Ascent Podcast, where we illuminate the path to discovering your True Will. This is episode 22, Becoming the Prime Mover of Your Life. To learn more about our work, please visit darkascent.org.
Melektoth: Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Hi everyone. Welcome to our podcast. I am Melektoth, and I am here with my wife, Elinara.
Melektoth: Today might be a tad bit spooky with the effects because it's thundering intermittently and it's raining outside. So if you hear that, then it'll just add to our ambiance, I suppose. Today we are talking about something that you might not grasp from the title alone, but basically becoming the first actor or the prime mover in your reality or in your life. I sent out an email the other day about this topic, being the actor instead of the reactor. I said something in that email, just an accidental turn of phrase where I kind of liked how I said it about you have to be the prime mover in your life. So I thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss here on the podcast.
Melektoth: What I find is that a lot of people, almost everyone, pretty much everyone, reacts to life. You have things that happen. You have positive or negative situations that come up or you have positive or negative thoughts that come up, and you react to them. You take them seriously. This ties really well with our episode 20, was it, about moving beyond the veil?
Melektoth: We were talking about moving beyond your thoughts and how that's an illusion and all that kind of stuff. But we react to our thoughts. We react to our emotions. We react to life, to what people tell us, to what experiences we have, to even feared possibilities, things like that. We're just in this constant state of reaction where we aren't really responsible or we don't think so, it doesn't seem like it, for our own emotions because they're always just ... We're responding. We're reacting to whatever comes up. You think if you have a bad day it's not your fault. It's the fault of your boss or of your coworkers or of your spouse— or that could be true.
Elinara: Hey! I thought you were going to throw something in there.
Melektoth: But you think it's someone else's fault or just the universe in general. Just bad things happen. But the fact of the matter is that you are reacting to what life is throwing your way. The reason that that is a problem is, first of all, because you're not being intentional. You're not being deliberate about your emotions. You're at the whim of life basically. When you're at the whim of life, you're going to lose out. You're going to suffer because things aren't going to go the way that you would like them to go. But secondly, because when you are reacting you are giving up control over your reality because as the law of attraction would state or magick in general, reality is a reflection of your own inner state, your own emotions, your own thoughts, your own subconscious, and so on.
Melektoth: When you are reacting to life, when you're allowing your inner state, your emotions to respond to what life is bringing up, then you are giving away creative control to something or someone else. Let's say something bad happens. Okay, so you know how it is. You wake up and you start having a bad day, something bad happens. You either have a negative thought or something bad happens early in the morning and it just sort of sets the tone for the day, and then the day keeps going downhill and downhill and downhill. Pretty soon you're wishing that you could just start over. We've all had days like that. That is because early on, you responded negatively to something and your negative response went out there and attracted something negative which made you respond negative. That negative response went out and attracted something else negative and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on.
Melektoth: It's just this whole vicious cycle that it's really hard to get out of.
Elinara: I think there are people too, because I know people that their day will start that way where it's just horrible, and then something great will happen to turn it around.
Melektoth: Yeah. It can happen. Yeah.
Elinara: It does happen, but I think it depends on what state you're in.
Melektoth: Usually that's the case if you can separate yourself from it enough. It's a really hard thing. The more negative it gets, the more negative you feel, and the more negative you feel, the more negative it gets. So it's just a really huge vicious cycle and a catch-22 because it's like you have to start feeling positive in order to start having positive experiences. But when negative things keep happening, you're just going to keep feeling negative. You're giving away control. You're not the predominant creative force any more in your reality, something else is, either another person, again, your boss, your coworkers, your spouse, your friends, your children, your parents, whatever. Or something else is, an event, an experience, a potential future that's not even realized yet.
Melektoth: Something else is in control, not you. That just goes against everything that we're trying to do here, because we're trying to be creators. That's where a lot of people get into victim mentality a lot because they get so used to responding to life that they think that's all that there is. "Well, I wouldn't suffer if blah blah blah, if this hadn't happened to me or if that wouldn't have happened or if this person would be nicer or if that person would just accept me." It goes on and on and on and on and on. Those things might be true, although not really, because it's always going to be something. If one person becomes nice, starts treating you nicely, it'll be someone else that you're complaining about. If every single person treated you nicely, which will never happen, if every single person loves you and treats you well, you'll still find something. It'll be some event, some experience that isn't going your way.
Melektoth: You're just never going to have a time in your life where every person is awesome, every experience is awesome, every single thing in your life is 100% wonderful.
Elinara: Kind of reminds me of the metaphor of the rose, because roses are very beautiful things, then you have the thorns. Now you can either ignore the thorns or you can accept them. Life is not supposed to be absolutely 100% amazing. We have to know how to deal with it when it isn't amazing, the thorns.
Melektoth: Yep. So you can't expect everyone to make life wonderful for you. It's just not going to happen. It's nice. It's nice when they do and when some people do that, but it's not up to them. The fact of the matter is the control rests with you. Now the thing is, the control is not in you demanding, "You have to treat me nicely so I can feel better, so I can have a happy life." Or, "Hey, bill collectors, you can't request money from me because when you do it makes me feel bad." You can't do that. That's not what kind of control you have.
Melektoth: In the physical, material world you have actually very little control because the physical, material world is really just an effect of something greater. That something greater is your own inner state, what you have going on in your mind and your emotions and your subconscious. That is where you do have control. So you can't look to someone else and say, "You have to behave a certain way for me to be happy." We do this all the time. We do it all the time. But we can't do that because sometimes they might and that's awesome. Sometimes, a lot of times, they won't. So it's up to us to take control by breaking that cycle.
Melektoth: The only way to break that cycle is to stop reacting. Again, it's easy to say, "If you stop doing things that I don't like then I'll stop suffering." But you have to stop suffering even if they keep doing things you don't like. That's one of the hardest things in this kind of work, one of the hardest things, because it makes sense that if someone does something we don't like that we get upset. Everyone does it. It makes sense. It's what we were taught. Our parents did that to us. They said, "Behave nicely or be good," so they can be happy. If they had a long day then they want us to be quiet so that they aren't bothered. You have things like that happening when you were a kid.
Melektoth: Our parents taught it to us and society teaches it to us. It's everywhere, but it's powerless. The first thing you have to do is you have to break this cycle. You have to break this connection between what other people do or what life does and how you feel about it. So the ultimate goal here is, as the title says, to become the prime mover of your reality. So let me talk about that for a second to see what does that mean exactly. What does it mean to be the prime mover of your reality? Basically it means that you are the one acting and life is the one responding to what you put out there. Life is the one conforming to your will. It's magick. It's a magickal act.
Melektoth: You are the one, I don't want to say exerting your will, it sounds like a lot of effort. But you're the one putting forth your will and life responds in kind. Essentially you are the one setting the tone for your life. You're setting the mood. You are creating things how you want them to be, but you're doing so in a place of power not in a place of powerlessness like, "If I just control enough people then I can be happy." That doesn't work. It's let me control my own emotions and my thoughts and then I can be happy and then things will respond to my happy state. So you have to flip things around a little bit that instead of, "What can I do to get things to make me happy?" That's the old way of seeing it. That doesn't work. That's the powerless way of seeing it.
Melektoth: The powerful way of seeing it, the empowered way of seeing it where you are the prime mover is I decided I'm going to be happy and then what will happen to validate, to confirm that decision? Do you see the difference? It's a very subtle thing sort of, but you're not ... People always come to me, "I need this thing to be happy. I want this thing to happen so I'm happy." Well, sorry. That's not going to happen. [thunder] There's the thunder I was waiting for! I don't know if it's audible. Perfect moment too.
Elinara: I know.
Melektoth: But you have to set the tone by deciding, "I'm going to be happy. I'm going to feel abundant. I'm going to feel loved. I'm going to feel whatever I want to feel." I decide this is what my life is going to be like internally. My inner-felt experience of my reality is going to be such, and you decide. You ignore everything to the contrary. Now by ignore, I don't mean you pretend it doesn't exist. What I mean is that you don't react to it, which I'll get back to in a second. But you decide, "This is my experience." And then a magickal, wonderful thing happens, life agrees.
Melektoth: Life says, "Oh, you're going to be happy? Okay. Here's a happy experience. Here's a happy experience. Here's a happy experience." Or, "You're going to feel abundant? Okay. Here's an abundant experience. Here's an abundant experience. Here's an abundant experience." Or, "You're going to feel love? Okay. Here's some love and some love and some love and some love." It agrees with you, but you have set the tone. You have set the pace, not responding to what life does. You're always setting the pace, you just don't realize it. What we usually do is we usually have some sort of under the surface or very background feeling of angst or of dissatisfaction or whatever negative emotion's going on and life agrees with that.
Melektoth: It says, "Oh okay. You want some anxiety or some upset or aggravation or frustration. Well, here's someone annoying you." You say, "That person's annoying me. I feel annoyance." "Oh, you have annoyance? Okay. I agree. Here's some more annoyance for you." It's just agreeing with whatever you're doing. But you're seeing that and you think you're on the receiving end. Life just keeps agreeing and agreeing and agreeing and agreeing and agreeing. It just keeps giving you more of whatever you're focusing on.
Elinara: It's very interesting because I know people that were in extreme physical pain or something like that where they could have been really bitter. There's one particular person I'm thinking of who is now deceased but I knew her when I was in high school. She was in her late 90s at the time. She was 100 when she died, but when she turned 96 she had a problem with her hip where it disintegrated and she couldn't have any kind of operation because she was too old pretty much. Before that, she was walking all over town. Now, she could have taken that experience and became bitter and all this stuff, but actually she turned it around.
Elinara: Her physical body didn't really get better, but she was one of the best people I ever met in my life. She had such a blessed and a great four years, four or five years on earth where she was so happy. Yeah, she had her days, but she never showed it ever.
Melektoth: That's awesome.
Elinara: It was just one of those things where when you get old, stuff happens. It's just the way it is. Everyone loved her. She was able to help so many people. But I think she was, in turn, helped or blessed as well because it was one of those things where ... That's what I'm saying. You could be in a really bad circumstance. It's not life that does it. It was her choice.
Melektoth: Yeah. She decided to be happy and that's what she was.
Elinara: She was like, "This isn't going to do anything. This isn't going to bother me." I'm not saying she didn't have her days where she was hurting, but she didn't take it out on anybody either.
Melektoth: That's awesome. It probably kind of softened the blow of the physical condition, not that it got better but maybe it wasn't as bad as it would have been if she was all miserable and upset.
Elinara: Yeah. I don't really think she ... You would have never known she was hurting. Obviously I can't see facial expression, but I can hear it in their voice usually. You couldn't. You just couldn't hear it.
Melektoth: Yeah. That's awesome. It's your choice. You have to set the tone. This is being the prime mover is you're going to be ... There was a book I read a couple years ago. What was it called? It was about structural tension by Robert Fritz. He used the phrase in that book about being the predominant creative force in your life. I always loved that phrase. This is the same thing, being the prime mover. You are the one that is deciding. You are the mover. You are the first mover. The reason I use this term, I told Elinara beforehand, it's a tiny bit blasphemous, which is even better. This is a term that theologians have been using for centuries.
Melektoth: I was a theology major in college for a while. No, was I a major? I don't know what I was.
Elinara: Yeah, you were.
Melektoth: Yeah. I was a theology major.
Elinara: Philosophy, theology.
Melektoth: Philosophy and theology major for a while, and so I studied Thomas Aquinas and all these different theologians and philosophers. They talked about God is the prime mover.
Elinara: Didn't that one always bother you? Was that the statement that always bothered you? You tried to ask me and I was like-
Melektoth: I don't remember. I don't know. I studied-
Elinara: It was one of the proofs that bothered you.
Melektoth: One of the five ways, yeah. I don't remember.
Elinara: I thought that was it, but I don't know. I could be wrong.
Melektoth: But the first cause of the prime mover or the unmoved mover, I think, is another name for him. But all these different names for God and because God is supposed to be the thing that started the whole cycle, started the whole chain. But when we're looking at our lives, what if we could be the prime mover, the first cause, the unmoved mover of our lives? Because we don't have to react. We have a choice. Sure, there are things that move us, that cause us to do certain things, but we don't have to respond to those. It's like, yeah, there are causes. There are influences, but we don't have to listen to them.
Melektoth: It's about choice. So if you choose to be the prime mover not the thing that's moved, which means the thing that's influenced or the thing that's affected by other things, if you decide to be the prime mover, now you're god of your life. That's the whole goal here, right, is becoming the god of your reality, becoming the creative force in your universe, becoming the central star of your solar system. So that should be your title. That should be all of our titles, prime mover, because that's what you can be. That's kind of where I got this phrase from. But I think it's so apt because that is what we should be aiming for.
Melektoth: But when you can set the tone, when you can decide, "This is the experience I'm going to have," and then have it, because it is your choice, emotions are subjective. They are something that you can control. I got my certification in neuro-linguistic programming, NLP. One of the things they told us from the start was when you're working with a client, get their goal. What's their goal? Their goal can never be a state. Your goal can't be happiness. Your goal can't be joy or peace or anything like that. Those are states. I'm in a law of attraction group on Facebook and someone the other day, I don't remember how exactly they said it, but they were saying how they're trying to manifest happiness.
Melektoth: I said, "You can't manifest happiness. Just be happy."
Elinara: Be happy.
Melektoth: Choose the state of happiness. It's a state you can't manifest a state.
Elinara: It's just funny to me.
Melektoth: I know, but that's the kind of things people try to do. But a goal can't be a state. You can't say, "I'm going to try to achieve happiness." No. There's a quote from Abraham. I know I have a lot of problems with him, but I love this quote. I'm paraphrasing, "A happy life is just a string of happy moments."
Elinara: That's true.
Melektoth: I like that. It's so simple. How do I be happy? Just, right now, what's blocking you from being happy? It's just thoughts, just fears that are not even real most of the time. When you're in the present moment, I used to always say this, when you're in the present moment there are no problems because in the present moment your work doesn't exist. Your problematic boss or coworkers or whoever doesn't exist. Nothing's here right now in the present moment. Money problems don't exist. Bills don't exist. Nothing exists right here in the present moment.
Melektoth: Happiness is an innate property of the present moment. That's why a lot of spiritual teachers focus so much on just being in the present. I don't think you always have to be exclusively in the present. It's fun to dream about the future. But if you're thinking about the future in a negative sense, then just bringing your mind back to the present moment is a really nice way of just finding some peace. All suffering exists either in the past or the future, which is illusion. So you cannot have a state as a goal. Happiness or abundance as far as a feeling of abundance, of richness or love or any of those things, those are in your control. You can create those. It's really easy to do so.
Melektoth: It doesn't seem like it sometimes because our thoughts get in the way so much, but it really is very easy to do so. Your own felt experience is 100% in your control. If you don't think so, you're playing the victim. When you can decide what your felt experience is going to be and then you do it, now you're the prime mover. Not only do you do it, but you keep it up. You maintain it in the face of resistance, which I'll go there in a second. But when you can do that, you're the prime mover. Again, life agrees with you. Life is always agreeing with you. Whatever you're putting out there, life says, "Okay, here's more of that. Okay, here's more of that." That's why you get half the things you get, or not even half, all the things you get really, because you're responding, and life is bringing you more of how you respond.
Melektoth: But when you can just say, "This is what I choose to feel and experience," then life says, "Okay, here's an experience that confirms and validates what you've chosen." It's so simple. Last year I had a job that I was desperately trying to get out of last summer. I dreaded going to work, well, not going. I work remotely, but signing on to work I guess. My boss was very, he was a micro manager and just things weren't going so well. But I started deciding. I said, "You know what? I choose that today I'm going to feel happy. I'm going to feel more specific things like accomplished. I'm going to feel competent. I'm going to feel like I'm doing a good job. I'm going to feel valued." And then I would feel those things.
Melektoth: You know what happened? Without exception, something would happen at work that would validate my choice. Abraham calls this setting a grid. They haven't called it that for years, but I always loved that phrase for it, setting the grid. You have a grid. It's a foundation you build upon. So you set a happiness grid or a whatever kind of grid, it's an emotion. And then life fills it in with more specific experiences. But I like setting the tone for how your experience is going to be. So I would choose these things. I would choose I'm going to feel happy. I'm going to feel valued. I'm going to feel accomplished and competent. Things would happen to validate that.
Melektoth: I do that still sometimes now with my current job. Sometimes if I feel like I'm not getting a lot of positive feedback, I will ... This sounds so prideful or like I'm looking for, I don't know, positive comments or something, but sometimes it's helpful. But I will in the morning, let's say, just choose, "I'm going to feel like I'm doing a really good job." I remember I did this a couple weeks ago. I just felt kind of low about things. I said, "You know what? I'm going to feel valued. I'm going to feel like I'm a really good employee and a really good worker." So I did that. Later on that day there was a difficult task. I had a few decisions or had a few choices about how I could go about it.
Melektoth: I chose one that was a little bit different. Later on in the day, the person I was working with said, "Hey, that was a really great approach on that task." Just that little comment felt really nice. It seems like a really small little thing, but that's how we build up the kind of life we want, these tiny little experiences like this. Even this week, earlier this week, well even still, I decided, "You know what? I want to feel like there is plenty of abundance. I could use some more." And then I got a new client and my mother covered the cost for something, which she never does, that she was buying for me on my behalf. She's like, "It wasn't much so I just covered it." How often has she said that since we've moved here?
Elinara: Not once.
Elinara: She maybe got my coffee once.
Melektoth: Yeah. When we were with her, but yeah, she never says, "I covered it for you," because she doesn't make much herself so I don't blame her, but it's just not something she does.
Melektoth: It's so simple. People think manifestation is so hard and it's so simple when you know what to do. You just have to decide what your experience is going to be and then do it. Have the experience and then life agrees. Every time, life agrees with whatever you put out there. It's amazing when you really start experiencing it firsthand. So that is what it means to be the prime mover is just that you are setting the tone. You are deciding what you're going to experience. Now, there are a few obstacles here, two mainly, but there may be more I think of.
Melektoth: The first thing, as I said in the beginning, is that you have to disconnect the experience or the thing itself, the physical happening, from the emotional response. You have to disconnect them because as long as those two things are connected, you're just going to create more of the same. This is why people can go for years without really changing because without, say, their financial situation changing or without their relationship, the situation changing, because they're just doing the same that they've always done. They're doing the same and they're getting the same and they're responding the same, and so they're doing the same and they're getting the same and they're responding the same.
Melektoth: It's just a never-ending cycle until you decide to break the cycle. The thing is, life will never decide to break the cycle because it can't. It's going to agree with whatever you put out there. Sometimes we get a break where a random positive thing happens either because we were feeling especially good that day or something or sometimes something just happens. It's a lucky break. It could be a blessing from a deity or from a being, if you work with them, or something like that. That can happen. I've discussed before, I don't think in this podcast, but in the past I've discussed how gods or spirits or beings can go outside of this whole cycle for you. That can happen. They can't totally go against your vibration, but they can sort of nudge it in a certain direction. They can give you a lucky break, and then it's up to you to respond to it.
Melektoth: It's like a lifeline someone throws and then you can either take it or not. If you take it then you have your path to better experiences. If you don't take it, then you're just going to sink. But that can happen. That can happen. But most of the time, life is not going to break the cycle. Most of the time, it's up to you to break the cycle and you shouldn't go looking for someone else to break the cycle for you. It can happen if you're lucky, but you shouldn't look for it. You have to be the one to break it. So you have to find a way to disconnect the event, the happening, from the response, the cause from the effect. The emotional response is really where all the power is. So you have to find a way to disconnect those.
Melektoth: I've talked about, episode 20, again, moving beyond the veil is a really great one for doing that because it's moving beyond all the thoughts. It's the thoughts that are responding to everything. When you move beyond the thoughts, beyond the thoughts is that place of stillness, of awareness, of emptiness that is always the first mover. So that's actually pretty big because when you're in your thoughts, when you are in your emotions and your thoughts and everything on the surface, you are an effect of whatever is happening in your reality. You're in that place of stimulation and response or stimulus and response.
Melektoth: But if you can move beyond the surface waves, let's say, of the ocean, if you move beyond that, move beyond the veil to that place of stillness and awareness and peace, that is unaffected by everything. That is never affected. When you can do that, that place within you is always the prime mover, always, because it's always unaffected. It's just a matter of if you are paying attention to it or not, but that is always unaffected by anything. You could have the worst, most traumatic thing happen in life and that place within you is still totally unaffected because all emotions are on the surface of that. So if you can get to that place, if you can move beyond the veil, then you can be that prime mover and totally unaffected.
Melektoth: So that's really good for disconnecting it, but you have to find a way to disconnect that event from the emotional response to it. The best way to do that, I've talked about acceptance. I had a client yesterday. He was telling me about his resistance, about his beliefs that he had. He said, "I just don't know how to get rid of them." I said, "Well, here's the problem." I said, "You're believing in them and you're resisting them." I said, "You notice how you're pushing them away." And he said, "Yeah." I asked him, "Can you just, for a second, for a moment, stop resisting? Can you accept them? Can you let them be?" And he did. He said, "Yeah, they're better." Just like that, in literally five seconds, that was it. His thoughts no longer had control over him.
Melektoth: So acceptance, to me, is always the prime first method because it's really, we resist so much because we fear our thoughts and we fear everything so we resist it. When we resist it, we give it more power. We give it more credence. But just saying, "Yeah, I accept it. It's okay." Saying yes to it instead of saying no to it is a really powerful way of very quickly disconnecting your emotional response, because it's really hard to feel upset or any kind of negative emotion when you're accepting something. That doesn't really go together. So that is my first method, that and mindfulness, which is really the same thing. Observing it and just finding a way to get to that place which is beyond all thoughts and all emotions.
Melektoth: So if you can disconnect that, if you can have someone or something do something that you don't like and then you'll have the emotion right away. It's a cause and effect or stimulus response, like I said. You'll have the emotion right away, but having the emotion isn't a bad thing. It's like if someone insults you, you're probably going to be a little upset. Or if something bad happens, you're probably going to be a little negative about it at first, a little fearful or a little anxious or whatever. That's going to happen. That's just life.
Elinara: Yeah. You got mad at me just the other day.
Melektoth: Yes, thank you. I don't remember about what now.
Elinara: I'm just saying.
Melektoth: Yeah. It happens. But the thing is, what do you do about it? Do you dig into it and identify with it and believe in it and go really deep into and make that your reality? Or do you accept it and be mindful of it and notice that it's not you? You're not it. It's just an emotion.
Elinara: Yeah. You really didn't let it affect you all that much, I don't think.
Melektoth: It's just an emotion. If you can separate from it a little bit then things start to change. You don't give it power any more. It seeks power by making you believe in it, by making you think it's real, whether it's a thought or an emotion or whatever. But if you can just accept it and be mindful of it and breathe through it and just make an open space for it, then it'll go, and it no longer has power, so it won't create for you. Just having a negative emotion isn't enough to cause all these negative things to happen. People are so afraid of negative emotions.
Melektoth: That's not what I want you to do because being afraid of something is just going to create more of it. If you're looking out for negative emotions so you can quash them, it doesn't work. You're just going to create more of them. But if you can accept anything that comes up and just be okay with it, then they'll go away very quickly. They don't have any power. What's left is that place of peace and awareness and silence, which is the first mover. And then you have a blank canvas to create whatever you want, to create the experience within yourself that you would rather have. So this takes practice, but this is the first step. You need to disconnect those two things.
Melektoth: You need to not give power to your negative emotions. It's okay if they happen. They will happen. Even the most enlightened masters in the world have negative emotions. I remember some years ago I was listening to a book by Adyashanti, who's a spiritual teacher if you're not familiar with him. He was talking about how sometimes he gets kind of frustrated at his computer. But it's just for a second and then he sees through it and he's like, "Oh yeah. It's not real." And it's done. Emotions are very sticky, I like to say. They stick to us if we believe in them. But if you don't believe in them, they sort of just fall away.
Elinara: I think my dad is like that where maybe that's why he's so scary, because emotions will go through him. He'll blow up for a minute and then he's done. It throws me off because I'm like, "Wait. You were just mad five minutes ago."
Melektoth: Yeah. My mother does that too sometimes.
Elinara: Yeah. It's like, "Wow." With me, I could be upset for two hours about something. I'm not saying that what he's doing is healthy necessarily, but it's just interesting.
Melektoth: Yeah. Yeah. Emotions can be very sticky. It's hard to separate yourself from them, but acceptance and mindfulness can really help there. So that's the first step. Again, just disconnecting the cause and the effect, the stimulus and the response. Again, when you are on the surface and the place of thoughts and emotions, you're always going to be affected. You're always going to be having that stimulus response connection. But if you can spend more time beyond that in the space of awareness, of stillness, then you'll be affected much less, possibly not at all if you're there entirely.
Melektoth: Now, emotions might flicker on the surface, but they don't stick around because, number one, you don't believe in them and, number two, you don't attach or identify with them. It's just here and then it goes. It's like a cloud in the sky. It's here for a few minutes and then it goes. Just like this storm that was here and I think it's passing now because I hear birds chirping again.
Elinara: Yeah. It's brighter outside too.
Melektoth: We had this thunderstorm that was here for a little while and then it left. There's no damage. It didn't have any effects. I mean there's rain on the ground and stuff like that, but I mean the sky is no different for having had a thunderstorm in it. That's how your self is. It's no different even if you had crushing depression just a few moments ago. Your true inner self is no different for having had that experience because it's beyond all of that. It's like you had a dream and then you wake up from the dream and the dream sort of disappears. It's not so real any more even if it was the worse dream you ever had. After a little while it's muted. That's how our emotions can be.
Melektoth: That's how it is to our true self. So you want to disconnect that. The thing that can happen, the other thing I want to mention is that when you are doing this, your mind can fight back a little bit. It's not an intentional thing like, "No, I don't want you to do this. I'm going to fight back." Life will always agree to what you're putting out there. But you have certain subconscious patterns and habits and ways of doing things and so on and so forth that when you start to change, it doesn't like so much. So you can think, "Oh yeah, I'll just stop responding to that person or to this event or whatever." You can have the best of intentions and then you try it and it's not successful or something even worse might happen.
Melektoth: Have you ever had the experience that you try to not react to something and you try to have a different response to something and then something even worse happens?
Elinara: Oh yeah. Yep.
Melektoth: It's your mind sort of fighting back a little bit. Let's say you're used to feeling lack, for example. You're used to feeling lack and you set an intention, "I'm going to feel more abundance." Now, feeling more abundance doesn't mean I'm going to have more money right away. Preferably you don't do it for that reason. Now I know people will. But you don't try to manipulate reality. "Well, if I feel this, then I'll get that. Because if I get that, then I'll feel more of this." It doesn't really work. That's sort of a warped way of going about it. "If I feel abundant, then I'll get more money so I can feel more abundant." It's just a lacking way of going ... It really doesn't work.
Melektoth: But if you just said, "I'd really like to feel abundance," let's say. "Usually I feel lack, but it doesn't feel very nice, so I'm just going to decide I'm going to feel abundance." So you start doing that, you start noticing when you feel lack and you start disconnecting from that, as we discussed. And then you set the tone by deciding to feel something different. You feel that feeling. That's great. But your mind doesn't like the change so much because it's used to feeling one way. If you're trying to feel something else, it's feeling a little threatened. So you may have more fears come up than usual. That's great. Your new positive focus is awesome, but what if that happens?
Melektoth: You'll have fears that come up that you didn't even know existed or maybe that haven't even come up for years or for a very long time. "Where did that fear come from? That's just random." Your mind is going to throw everything it has at you to get you to change your decision. Negative things in the world might even happen. It's not uncommon that someone sets a new intention to feel abundant and then they get a huge bill in the mail or some charge comes up they weren't expecting and now they're really lacking in the bank. "Now what? Look what that did for me." It's just a little bit of growing pains. It's just your mind fighting back a little bit. That's all it is.
Melektoth: If you let go of your decision now, basically you admitted defeat. It's won. Your mind has won, and it's keeping its old programming. It says, "I told you. Lack is the way of things." It goes back to how it was. People do this all the time. "I was feeling good about it and that happened. Now I feel awful." Well, now you've just admitted to your mind that it was right. It doesn't work like that. So if those things happen, you have to maintain your decision.
Elinara: I would say it's a sign that things are moving the right way.
Melektoth: Exactly. I would rather, and I've told people before, I know someone and she may listen to this. I don't know. I've told someone in the past, "I would rather you feel horrible resistance than come to me and say that you feel nothing. Because if you feel nothing that means that no energy is moving or barely. Energy is moving super slowly." I said, "I just want to kick up something. If you came to me and said, 'I'm so depressed.' I would cheer because I'd be happy energy was moving. I would rather that than, 'Yeah, everything's okay,' and be bored, because boredom means no movement."
Elinara: It's like same shit, different day.
Melektoth: Exactly. Thank you for that translation.
Elinara: Well, it is.
Melektoth: I know.
Elinara: People that live like that, I don't know how they do it.
Melektoth: Right. I would rather trigger you. I've done this to clients. I had a client a couple years ago-
Elinara: I think I know who you're talking about.
Melektoth: ... who was just so persistent. Now, the thing is, I'm saying to be persistent in your positive focus. But she did it in a way that I could tell was disingenuous. She would totally ignore her true emotions on the matter and just, "Everything is wonderful and I know it's coming." The way you know it's not real is because nothing's happened. One thing Abraham says is, "There are two ways to know what your vibration is. Number one is by your emotions and, number two, if you ignore those, it's by what's happening in your life." If you're saying, "Life is wonderful and money is coming and everything is great and I'm abundant," and you don't have enough money to pay for food or you don't have any more money than ever before and you've been doing this for six months, you're lying to yourself.
Melektoth: I literally I try to trigger her. I said, "You know what? What if it never comes?" She said, "That would be kind of upsetting." So I triggered her and then we worked through it.
Elinara: Then there was someone, this is who I thought you were talking about, this person that yelled that you ... I don't know what you did, but she screamed.
Melektoth: That terrified me. I don't like yelling.
Elinara: But whatever you did, it broke her so much. I mean not in a bad way, but moved all this energy and you happened to be the recipient of it.
Melektoth: I knew it wasn't at me, but she yelled so much that her microphone was all messed up afterwards where I could barely ... It was so muffled because she knocked it over. It sounded like a bull in a china shop over there. I don't know what's going on, but it was a good thing though. I wish I had heard an update because I don't know what happened with her, but it had to have been a good thing.
Melektoth: But the one that I'm talking about though proceeded to go on and get ... How much did she get? $400,000 was it?
Elinara: She got a significant amount.
Melektoth: It's was like $400,000. She emailed me a month later and said, "Yeah. I got $400,000 after our session." I mean it worked. I triggered her. I said, "I want you to feel resistance. If you're not feeling resistance, you're lying or you have the thing. But you don't have the thing, therefore there is resistance, so where's the resistance?" Resistance, that's the very first thing I talk about when I get into a session. I had a session yesterday. The very first thing, "Okay, what's going on? What are you feeling? Why aren't you having it? Before we can focus on the direction where you want to go, we have to take care of why you're not there yet. What's blocking you?"
Melektoth: We have to clear those obstacles before we can hope to make progress in the right direction. So life will test you. I don't like to say test. It will fight back because you've been going in a certain direction. So again, if you're used to feeling lack and then you start saying, "I'm going to feel abundance," then it brings up all these fears, negative things might happen, and that's okay.
Elinara: It's like if you do your hair in the same position for years and then you're like, "I want to change it," but the comb won't let ... Even if you comb it, your hair won't let you go back because it'll go back to the same position it was before, so you have to spray it.
Melektoth: That would be your analogy. That would be your analogy.
Elinara: It works, doesn't it?
Melektoth: That is the Elinara analogy.
Elinara: It works though because I have a friend that was trying to do my hair, but it wouldn't work unless she put all this goop in it because it went back to the way I always did it. So it's like that.
Melektoth: Yes, thank you. I get it though. When this happens it is so vital. This is the most important part of the process. If you give in here, not to mean to sound all fatalistic, but if you give in here, you take a few steps back. You lose your progress. So it's vitally important. Now, I'm not asking for perfection. There's always another chance. But if you maintain that choice, "This is what I choose to experience. I don't care what thoughts are happening. I don't care what experiences are out there. I choose to feel blank, whatever it is." This tends to happen, it's not so much for ... I talk about how I chose to feel valued at work and want to get compliments.
Melektoth: It was always within my level of expectation that I knew it could happen. So that kind of thing is not always going to fight you back. But when it's a big change, when you're ... I used to call them next-level goals. When you're going for a next-level goal where you're trying to get something big, then you're going to have some feedback. You're going to have some resistance to the change. So you have to maintain in the face of all resistance the thing that you have chosen to experience. I learned this for the first time. It made so much sense and I've seen it to be true in situation after situation. I took a course. One of the first courses I took back in, what, 2015? It was hypnosis and the law of attraction was the course. Do you remember?
Elinara: Yes. Now I do. I didn't know which one you were talking about for first.
Melektoth: That guy taught me a lot of what I currently know. I've added to it a lot. I've modified things a bit.
Elinara: He was your foundation.
Melektoth: But it was definitely my foundation because everything he said was absolutely true, I just added to it. But he said that when you make a decision, that your subconscious, it wants internal consistency. So it'll say, "Well, okay, you said we should now feel abundant. But wait, what about you used to always say money has to be hard. So what about that? Money's hard. Isn't money hard?" It'll tell you about how money's hard. If you say, "Oh yeah. I forgot. Money's hard." And then it's, "Okay, yeah. We were right. Okay. So forget all the other stuff you were trying to tell us." It's gone.
Melektoth: If instead, your subconscious says, "Yeah, money's hard. Remember that?" You say, "Yeah, I know I told you that before but no, now we're focusing on money is easy and abundance is possible. I feel abundant. That's what we're going to feel now." Your subconscious says, "Oh okay. All right. I guess that's not so important any more then, the money's hard story. But wait. What about this other thing? What about rich people are evil?" Whatever beliefs people have about money, there are tons of them. "What about you have to suffer to have a lot of money? Or what about it's selfish to want money?" Every little thing that comes up, you have to say, "Yeah. I know I told you that before, but now this is what is true." Obviously you don't literally say that, but it's the attitude.
Melektoth: The thought comes up. You say, "Yeah, okay. That's a thought. I recognize it. But I maintain my focus here on abundance." So you accept the thought. You're mindful of it. It goes, and you go deeper into what you choose to experience. That little tidbit right there was what has totally changed my manifestation experience, knowing that, because it's true. This is why I look for resistance, because if you are focusing on your goal you're going to have resistance. It's your subconscious arguing with you or just saying, "Okay, well, what about all these other things you've told us in the past?" So this is why, with clients, I look for the resistance. With clients, I tell them, "I want you to focus on your goal every single day." Because some people would say, "I'll just focus on it once and it'll come."
Melektoth: It can be if you don't have resistance, but it's not my experience. My experience is that you need to focus on it quite frequently because when you do, the subconscious will say, "Here's that story again. He's been focusing on it a lot, so it must be true. But what about these other things?" It'll bring up the other things. You have to maintain your focus in the face of resistance. That's probably one of the most important things that you could learn about, that you could do and implement for yourself. Because if you can do that, then you're well on your way to having your goal. When you have that resistance come up, first of all, it's a sign that you're on your way. You're on the path.
Melektoth: As I said, I would rather you have resistance than have nothing. So if you have resistance, you know you're moving in the right direction. But then when you can let that go and maintain your focus on your goal, on your chosen state, then you know that it's really within your reach. That's all it is. So just to summarize a little bit, I want you to be the prime mover of your reality. That means not being the reactor, not being the responder, but being the actor, the first mover, the unmoved mover, the uncaused cause, being God basically, choosing what your experience will be. "I'm going to feel happy. I'm going to have a good experience. I'm going to be positive. I'm going to experience these things." Not by suppressing the negative. We never suppress the negative because it's still there.
Melektoth: So not by suppressing the negative, but by accepting, welcoming, embracing the negative so that it's free to go and then with the new space, the new blank canvas that we now have, we shift our focus to the positive. So there's a difference between, "I am so positive. Everything's great." And then everything's falling apart. That's not what you want. There's a difference between that and, "Yeah. Sometimes negative stuff happens and I have negative thoughts and it's okay. But I choose to return to my chosen experience, that things are good and I'm happy. Life is abundant and life is kind and things are wonderful." When you do that, life will agree with you. Sometimes it will question you at first, "Are you sure? Because that's not what you said in the past."
Melektoth: But when you maintain that focus persistently, consistently, every single day then life will begin to agree with you. It will begin to bring you experiences that validate and confirm your new decision. Now that means that you have moved life. It has not moved you. You have to maintain. You have to not be moved by whatever life brings your way. You have to be the prime mover and life will conform to your will. That is the truest definition of magick that exists. Hopefully that makes sense. That's a lot. It's sort of everything that I've taught in a nutshell. If you listen to especially episode 20 for the method of disconnecting, I did talk about it here too, but moving beyond the veil.
Melektoth: But this is a good template for just what you need to do to create what you want, create the kind of life you want. It's not visualization or affirmations. I was speaking with my client yesterday. We went through so many misconceptions. He was like, "Well, I don't like affirmations that much." I'm like, "Good. Me neither."
Elinara: He was probably surprised.
Melektoth: Yeah. I don't use visualization. He's like, "Well, don't you have to have really clear detail of everything that you're trying to get." I'm like, "No. A lot of people aren't good at visualization. You don't need a clear image." So many people say, "You have every detail. See it and hear it and feel it and smell it and taste it." That's a lot of work. I'm way too lazy for all that.
Elinara: What about blind people? That wouldn't work.
Melektoth: Exactly. Right. No, you don't have to visualize it. You don't have to affirm it. All you have to do is choose the state that you want and life will agree with you. Again, just one last thing is, I said this earlier but I just want to emphasize it, don't try to get things to feel how you want to feel. Feel how you want to feel, and then the things you want will come.
Elinara: That is so hard.
Melektoth: It is hard. It's like, "I know if I had that job, I know if I had more money, I know if I had that relationship I would be happy." No, you wouldn't. I promise you. I swear to you, you would not be any happier than you are now. I promise you. I've done it. I've been there. I've done all these different things, gotten a whole bunch of different things and not been any happier, even been less happy sometimes. It doesn't work. Be happy and the happiness will be validated and confirmed by happy experiences that life brings to you. But don't be happy or pretend to be happy to manipulate the universe into giving you experiences so you can be happy. It doesn't work.
Melektoth: So again, if there's one thing I want you to get out of this, don't seek for experiences to give you the emotions you want. Feel or choose the emotions you want and the experiences have to follow. That's just how it is. Most people are doing the law of attraction totally backwards, because they're saying, "If I have this thing, I'll be happy. I'll feel good. I'll whatever." It doesn't work that way. You can't manifest to solve a problem. It has to be playful. It has to be fun. It has to be easy. That's how creators create. Hopefully that all makes sense. I would love to hear your thoughts about this.
Melektoth: If you want to see the show notes for this episode or start a discussion, you can come over to darkascent.org/DA022. If you'd like to go deeper into these topics, there is always The Circle of Darkness newsletter. That will go into all sorts of different topics on magick, on the law of attraction, and spirituality, and many, many, many other topics. So if you want that you can check it out at darkascent.org/circle. I thank you for joining us. I hope that you will return for our next episode, which is in two weeks. But until then I hope that you have a wonderful time creating and implementing these principles.
Melektoth: Thanks for listening. Bye everyone.
Melektoth: Love is the law, love under will.
Elinara: Thank you for listening to Dark Ascent.
- Living in a constant state of reaction
- Why do negative things keep happening?
- The physical world is the effect of something greater.
- Breaking the cycle of unhappiness.
- Becoming the “first cause” of your life.
- Why happiness cannot be your goal.
- What happens when you move beyond thought?
- Your mind may fight back, but life will not.
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