I got a question earlier which I thought was a great one, because it reveals a certain assumption of law of attraction practitioners which I feel is counterproductive or even dangerous.
The question was, “How can I ignore current reality and focus on what I want?”
I know how this question comes about. They read an article or watch a video from someone else who says that if we could only ignore current reality and focus on what we really want to the exclusion of all else, then all their problems would be solved and life would be perfect.
And so they try it. And it doesn’t work, because their mind keeps reminding them of what is, and how much they want, and don’t have, their goal yet.
And so I get this question: “How can I ignore current reality?”
And the answer is, you don’t. I’ll tell you why in this post.
Note: I actually wrote about this topic last year, and I agree with everything I said in that post, so you can also go read it here. However, sometimes a topic can use a bit of a refresh, so that’s what I’m doing in this post. 🙂
Does Ignoring Current Reality Work?
So just to have some specific reference point to focus on, I went and found a video from Abraham-Hicks talking about why you should ignore current reality. Here it is:
Now I’ve been working with coaching clients for almost two and a half years, and I can say with complete confidence that this sort of advice has never helped them to create.
Usually the type of clients I get are those who have been trying to do what is suggested in the video above: just focus on what they want and stop thinking about what is.
And so they come and they say, “I’ve been doing everything right. I visualize and affirm, and focus on what is, but still I don’t have it.”
And every time that happens, I have them face current reality again, and we use the techniques I’ve been talking about here lately, and in just a few weeks, they start seeing progress, when previously they were stuck for months or even years.
As I always say, I believe in practical results. And I believe that if you’ve been trying a technique for three months or more, and it really isn’t working for you, one of two things is wrong: either (1) the method is wrong, or (2) your application of the method is wrong.
So if we analyze what such people are doing, then we should be able to come to a conclusion of whether it’s the method at fault, or whether it’s their application of the method.
I can say firstly that I’ve tried this method in my own life, and got next to no results. Any results I did get took such a long time to arrive that it really wasn’t worth it.
And similarly, those clients I’ve worked with who used this sort of method, seemed to be doing everything by the book, and yet weren’t getting results in their lives.
And so I’d invite you to look at your own life, too. If you are trying the ignore current reality mode of manifesting, has it been working for you?
If not, it may be time for something new.
Can Ignoring Current Reality Ever Work?
Okay, first I’ll say that this method can work, under certain circumstances.
But, those circumstances (discussed below) are limited, and in addition, it is just rather stressful to approach it in this way.
I don’t want to say it never works, because invariably there will be someone who will say, “But I’ve tried this and it worked for me.” So I’m not saying it’s an impossibility, just highly unlikely, and highly inefficient.
So what are the circumstances that it can work in?
Basically anything that isn’t too far outside of your realm of easy belief.
For instance, maybe your subconscious beliefs allow that it isn’t too hard to get a job. So, you ignore the current reality of joblessness, and are quickly hired for that new job.
But, this will only work if it’s not gone on too long, and if you have enough money to get by. So, the state of joblessness really isn’t that stressful, and so it’s easy to ignore.
But I promise that as that interval increases, and as the money decreases, it’d get harder and harder to ignore current reality.
This is generally about the time I get that email asking, “I’ve been without a job for 6 months and my savings are running low. How do I ignore current reality and get a job?”
So, this method won’t work if:
- You don’t believe the goal is possible
- You need the goal urgently
- Current reality is increasingly painful in some way
- Your desire for the new reality is intense
- Your dislike of current reality is intense
If you fall under any of the above, the method of ignoring current reality won’t work for you.
I think that this would cover about 99% of all cases I see, which is why I say we should just toss out the method altogether. It works so little of the time, and yet is promoted by so many in the LOA community.
Okay, Why Doesn’t It Work?
Okay, now down to the actual question: why doesn’t this method work in the situations listed above?
The answer is rather obvious I feel, but I’ll explain it further. Ignoring current reality doesn’t work because, it’s so hard to actually and effectively ignore current reality.
You can maybe do it for a few minutes, when watching an inspiring video about the law of attraction, like the one posted above. When you see Abraham speak so passionately about why current reality doesn’t really mean anything, it can booster your belief for a little while.
Until, that is, you come back to, well, reality, and are faced with what is yet again.
And so perhaps you remind yourself of what they said, or re-watch a video like it, or simply go off and distract yourself with some other good-feeling activity.
But the more you do that, the harder the fall comes when you crash back to earth, which you inevitably will.
Because positive thinking is hard work. You have to so persistently ignore all the negative stuff going on in your head, and only allow yourself to think of positive things, which is impossible anyway.
As I often ask, can you tell what your next thought is going to be?
No? How do you think positive thinking will work, then?
Basically we end up in this downward spiral of running away from our own negative thoughts, clinging ever more tightly to whatever positive thoughts we can muster up.
So right now, I give you permission to just let go of that whole charade. Go ahead, I promise the world won’t fall apart. 🙂
It might get more intense for a moment, but after a moment or two of just allowing, the negativity will just flow away and you’ll just be left with lightness.
There’s Nothing to Fear
The truth is, there’s nothing to fear.
Common LOA practice has us fearing what is here right now. You better not focus on your current bank balance, or you’ll just get more like it. Or, you better not focus on being single, or you’ll just keep on being single.
So we end up in a world of fear around every corner. And the more you try to ignore it, the stronger it gets.
Well, the fear is an illusion.
Looking at your bank balance won’t perpetuate it. Noticing that you’re single won’t keep you from a relationship.
How can I possibly tell there is nothing to be afraid of?
Because reality is just a reflection of your thoughts. And, your thoughts are your thoughts.
The world out there isn’t “out there”. It’s in here, within you. It’s all a picture in your mind.
And, I want you to get to a place where nothing in your mind scares you. After all, they are just thoughts and feelings.
I want you to get to the place where you can be absolutely fearless in every corner of your own consciousness.
Even if your mind brings up the most horrible possibilities, I want you to be able to just laugh at it.
Because fear gives those thoughts strength. And the more strength they have, the more often they’ll come back, and the more they will manifest into the apparent outer world.
You have the bank balance you do, not because you pay attention to it, but because when your mind brings up thoughts about your bank balance, you fear it. You resist it.
If you could look at your bank balance and completely accept it as-is, you could look at it all day and it wouldn’t do anything to manifest that same balance. In fact, it’d likely grow, pretty quickly.
And similarly, if you could just look at your relationship status and fully accept it, then no matter how much you paid attention to being single, you could still easily get a relationship.
You could celebrate being single, and you’d still be in an awesome place to have a beautiful, loving relationship.
So it’s not what you focus on, it’s how you react to what you focus on.
Two Basic Energetic Principles
As I’ve often said, manifestation is just energy.
So I’d like to introduce you to two basic energetic principles that will make more sense of the above, and why what you’re doing now hasn’t been working:
- Whatever you push against, gets stronger.
- Whatever you cling to, slips away.
You can prove it to yourself. Think of any time in your life you pushed against some outcome—some potential reality you wanted to keep at bay. Weren’t you more likely to actually experience that thing?
And think of anything in your life that you tried to keep close. You wanted to maintain it and make it last. Wasn’t that more likely to get sabotaged and for you to lose it in some way?
This is how the law of attraction works.
So, when you try to ignore reality, you are basically pushing against it, trying to make it not happen.
And therefore, it gets stronger.
Similarly, if you try to hold on to something you want, it just slips away from you.
The best path is to neither push nor hold on. It’s the way of complete non-attachment—of total acceptance of whatever happens.
This is the Taoist principle of wu wei, or non-doing, I’ve often discussed.
When you have no attachments and no aversions, meaning you accept all as it is, then every thought manifests effortlessly.
If you don’t push against your current bank balance, and don’t cling to the idea of being rich, then you are in a place of total peace. And from this peace, you can simply think of abundance, and it’ll flow to you.
So if you’re not getting your desire, it’s because you are still either clinging to the want of the desire, or pushing against the lack of it.
Actually these are the same, because want equals lack. So the more you want a desire, the more you lack it.
Give up wanting, and having it is effortless.
How to Have Your Desire
You might object, “I can’t give up wanting my desire, because I really need it.”
And I’ll tell you, that’s exactly why you don’t have it yet.
The truth is, you don’t need it. That’s just a lie the mind tells to keep you in wanting.
You can have it anytime you like, as soon as you stop wanting it. That’s your decision, and yours alone.
But as long as you want it, and are pushing against current reality where you don’t have it, then it won’t come.
I know it’s scary to drop that want. We feel like it is the only thing tying our desire to us.
But once you drop the want, and simply choose to have, then it’ll be yours.
I can help you to do that. I’ll be teaching exactly these principles in the Manifest Your Destiny Mastermind starting in less than two weeks.
My goal for the Mastermind is to show you exactly how to start winning in life, by letting go of everything you once wanted. And then, to demonstrate that freedom is available, right now, and you don’t have to give up anything to have it. In fact, you’ll gain a great deal, more than you could imagine.
Just go here to sign up:
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. What have you been trying to ignore in your own reality? Can you now accept everything as it is and move towards having your desire? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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Brandon,
Very good post. It must be a fine line because when you visualize as you described in the webinar at the weekend, when you are tending the seed you have planted, are you not holding on to what you want? And will therefore push it away?
I know the point of visualizing, or affirming with the “I choose… ” statement, is for bringing up any resistance which you can then release but are you not still holding on to what you want.
Hey @Tim,
Great question. When you hold the visualization, the point is to see if there is any remaining resistance. If there is, you’ll feel a resistant feeling in your body, generally the stomach, chest, or throat.
After you have released all of that resistance, then holding the visualization will be effortless. You’ll notice a strong feeling of “I can”. So there’s not a pushing away of what you don’t want, and you’re not holding on to the visualization.
When I say to “hold on”, I mean in the sense of, “I need this now”. When you’ve released the resistance and just lightly hold the visualization, it’s just effortless. There’s no clinging, no lack, no neediness or want.
You’ll experience the difference as you release the resistance. It’s quite distinct. You don’t have to “try” to visualize it, but it just comes effortlessly and it feels like you have it, so there’s no grasping.
Hope that makes sense.
Hi Brandon!
Another great post! Can you explain the difference in terms of how one one might feel or think when they are wanting something vs. choosing to have something?
Thank you!
Hi @Cece,
As I said in the post, wanting = lacking. So if you feel you want something, you feel you lack it, like you don’t have it and need to have it now.
Thanks! So can say choosing is more like knowing that you do not need it and will eventually have it? Thanks
Hi @Cece,
I’d say having or allowing instead of choosing. It is in the end a choice but the feeling you want is one of having. It is already here now.
I’d also drop the word “eventually”, because people use that to excuse why their manifestation still isn’t here after months.
But yes, I’d say the feeling is like you have it now already within yourself, and you are okay no matter what happens. You can just allow it to come into your life effortlessly, without trying to do anything.
Thank you for explaining this so well. It makes sense that by feeling now takes away the doubts and fears. However, if you’re feeling if it’s already here then aren’t you in a way ignoring reality? Can you explain this? Thank you
Hi @Cece,
You’re feeling like it is here energetically. You’re not pretending as though it is here physically.
Like if you want to have a million dollars, you get to the point where you feel the having of the million dollars, like nothing could possibly take that away from you. You have the abundance already. But you don’t pretend you have a million dollars, or act as if, or anything like that.
Hope that makes sense.
Hey Brandon, I remember when you said before that it’s good to use the “I choose…” statement, because that moves energy and feels powerful. It’s using our will to bring our goal into the physical realm. Saying “I have…” or “I allow…” doesn’t feel powerful like “I choose…”. Is this toning down our “will”, or completely removing the “will” from the manifesting process? I remember you saying that our will is the most important tool for magic (manifesting).
“I allow myself to…” seems like saying, “if I am/get this, it’s totally fine. But it’s optional, not a non-negotiable determination to be/get it”. Maybe it’s just that different wording works better for different people?
Hi @Z,
In the end you really are choosing. But “I allow” is better because it puts you into the state of acceptance, which is necessary for getting the goal. So yeah, it’s fine if it doesn’t happen, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying.
“I choose”, I think can cover up some resistance if you’re not careful.
You do still will it, in that you don’t give up on the goal until you have gotten it. But at the same time, you know that you have everything you need right now.
And “I allow” also puts more of the impetus on the Universe IMO. It’s the Universe that’s bringing it into our lives, and these sorts of goals will simply show up. “I choose” connotes more effort.
So again just a bit of an update, but “I allow” has been working wonderfully for me.
Ahh I see what you mean. I definitely remember some goals where I used my will to cover up the resistance. I enjoy every new piece of clarity I get from you. Thank you! 🙂
Brandon,
Very good post. It must be a fine line because when you visualize as you described in the webinar at the weekend, when you are tending the seed you have planted, are you not holding on to what you want? And will therefore push it away?
I know the point of visualizing, or affirming with the “I choose… ” statement, is for bringing up any resistance which you can then release but are you not still holding on to what you want.
Hey @Tim,
Great question. When you hold the visualization, the point is to see if there is any remaining resistance. If there is, you’ll feel a resistant feeling in your body, generally the stomach, chest, or throat.
After you have released all of that resistance, then holding the visualization will be effortless. You’ll notice a strong feeling of “I can”. So there’s not a pushing away of what you don’t want, and you’re not holding on to the visualization.
When I say to “hold on”, I mean in the sense of, “I need this now”. When you’ve released the resistance and just lightly hold the visualization, it’s just effortless. There’s no clinging, no lack, no neediness or want.
You’ll experience the difference as you release the resistance. It’s quite distinct. You don’t have to “try” to visualize it, but it just comes effortlessly and it feels like you have it, so there’s no grasping.
Hope that makes sense.
Hi Brandon!
Another great post! Can you explain the difference in terms of how one one might feel or think when they are wanting something vs. choosing to have something?
Thank you!
Hi @Cece,
As I said in the post, wanting = lacking. So if you feel you want something, you feel you lack it, like you don’t have it and need to have it now.
Thanks! So can say choosing is more like knowing that you do not need it and will eventually have it? Thanks
Hi @Cece,
I’d say having or allowing instead of choosing. It is in the end a choice but the feeling you want is one of having. It is already here now.
I’d also drop the word “eventually”, because people use that to excuse why their manifestation still isn’t here after months.
But yes, I’d say the feeling is like you have it now already within yourself, and you are okay no matter what happens. You can just allow it to come into your life effortlessly, without trying to do anything.
Thank you for explaining this so well. It makes sense that by feeling now takes away the doubts and fears. However, if you’re feeling if it’s already here then aren’t you in a way ignoring reality? Can you explain this? Thank you
Hi @Cece,
You’re feeling like it is here energetically. You’re not pretending as though it is here physically.
Like if you want to have a million dollars, you get to the point where you feel the having of the million dollars, like nothing could possibly take that away from you. You have the abundance already. But you don’t pretend you have a million dollars, or act as if, or anything like that.
Hope that makes sense.
Hey Brandon, I remember when you said before that it’s good to use the “I choose…” statement, because that moves energy and feels powerful. It’s using our will to bring our goal into the physical realm. Saying “I have…” or “I allow…” doesn’t feel powerful like “I choose…”. Is this toning down our “will”, or completely removing the “will” from the manifesting process? I remember you saying that our will is the most important tool for magic (manifesting).
“I allow myself to…” seems like saying, “if I am/get this, it’s totally fine. But it’s optional, not a non-negotiable determination to be/get it”. Maybe it’s just that different wording works better for different people?
Hi @Z,
In the end you really are choosing. But “I allow” is better because it puts you into the state of acceptance, which is necessary for getting the goal. So yeah, it’s fine if it doesn’t happen, that’s exactly what I’ve been saying.
“I choose”, I think can cover up some resistance if you’re not careful.
You do still will it, in that you don’t give up on the goal until you have gotten it. But at the same time, you know that you have everything you need right now.
And “I allow” also puts more of the impetus on the Universe IMO. It’s the Universe that’s bringing it into our lives, and these sorts of goals will simply show up. “I choose” connotes more effort.
So again just a bit of an update, but “I allow” has been working wonderfully for me.
Ahh I see what you mean. I definitely remember some goals where I used my will to cover up the resistance. I enjoy every new piece of clarity I get from you. Thank you! 🙂
Hey,
I’m sorry I keep repeating the same question over and over, but I am really confused about how Structural Tension ties down into all this. Im not sure i quite get how to ‘intend’ for goals to manifest..
@Shibani,
I already answered your question on this several weeks ago when you first asked it (see here). But you never replied, so I have no way of knowing what was unclear. Please be more specific and I’m happy to answer.
Hey Brandon,
I somehow missed the email notification to your previous reply and hence didn’t know you replied on the blog. Thanks for linking to it today! I just read it.
I have a question to do with this paragraph :’So, imagine that as you internalize the vision, all the stuff in contradiction to that vision comes up. And you release that resistance and internalize the vision even more. This is actively dealing with the tension and allowing it to pull you to the goal. It’s just that you don’t really have attachment to the goal itself, but use it as an anchor to move you in the world. At least that’s how I see it.’
My question is : how do you internalize the vision but also drop the need for it? for example, in the exact moment when I want to internalize the vision, dosent it bring up the contrast between my vision and my current reality (and then this contrast makes me feel a little depressed and hopeless even before i catch myself feeling depressed and hopeless)? Or do you mean to say that this contrast WILL trigger resistance, which is normal, but I ought to change how i react to this resistance? And dropping my need for the goal (by giving myself approval, security and the feeling of control) thus drops the resistance and takes me toward the goal?Like, how do you not fight reality and just accept it? How do I know if im doing that right?
Hi @Shibani,
You know if you’re doing it right, because you stop feeling depressed and hopeless when you think about that contrast. 🙂
The whole point is that current reality won’t be painful to look at. You will get to the point where you can totally accept it, while also being open to your goal.
Try several cycles of bringing up the goal and releasing the resistance, and then see if the goal doesn’t seem more possible to you, and you feel more open to it.
Great explanation! You need to write a book!
Noted. Thanks ! And the best way to release resistance is to just accept it and not flip out over it..right?
Hi @Shibani, yes correct. You want to completely allow it and let it go. 🙂
Hey,
I’m sorry I keep repeating the same question over and over, but I am really confused about how Structural Tension ties down into all this. Im not sure i quite get how to ‘intend’ for goals to manifest..
@Shibani,
I already answered your question on this several weeks ago when you first asked it (see here). But you never replied, so I have no way of knowing what was unclear. Please be more specific and I’m happy to answer.
Hey Brandon,
I somehow missed the email notification to your previous reply and hence didn’t know you replied on the blog. Thanks for linking to it today! I just read it.
I have a question to do with this paragraph :’So, imagine that as you internalize the vision, all the stuff in contradiction to that vision comes up. And you release that resistance and internalize the vision even more. This is actively dealing with the tension and allowing it to pull you to the goal. It’s just that you don’t really have attachment to the goal itself, but use it as an anchor to move you in the world. At least that’s how I see it.’
My question is : how do you internalize the vision but also drop the need for it? for example, in the exact moment when I want to internalize the vision, dosent it bring up the contrast between my vision and my current reality (and then this contrast makes me feel a little depressed and hopeless even before i catch myself feeling depressed and hopeless)? Or do you mean to say that this contrast WILL trigger resistance, which is normal, but I ought to change how i react to this resistance? And dropping my need for the goal (by giving myself approval, security and the feeling of control) thus drops the resistance and takes me toward the goal?Like, how do you not fight reality and just accept it? How do I know if im doing that right?
Hi @Shibani,
You know if you’re doing it right, because you stop feeling depressed and hopeless when you think about that contrast. 🙂
The whole point is that current reality won’t be painful to look at. You will get to the point where you can totally accept it, while also being open to your goal.
Try several cycles of bringing up the goal and releasing the resistance, and then see if the goal doesn’t seem more possible to you, and you feel more open to it.
Great explanation! You need to write a book!
Noted. Thanks ! And the best way to release resistance is to just accept it and not flip out over it..right?
Hi @Shibani, yes correct. You want to completely allow it and let it go. 🙂
Thank you, Brandon! It makes complete sense!!!
Thank you, Brandon! It makes complete sense!!!
Hi Brandon,
I came across this article at the time I need to hear this the most! Thank you. My bf broke up with me a bit more than a month ago and I did no contact for 30 days and tried to use LOA to get him to come back during that month. I listen to sublimals, practice gratitude, affirm and visualize everyday. I thought I was doing great and when that 30 days passed I tried to talk to him but he’s not really replying me which shocked me because that’s not what I imagined and asked for. That created even more fear and resistance as I tried harder, the only thing I could think of was he’s not talking to me anymore and it’s hopeless, the more I tried to ignore my current reality the worse it got. I want to know what I can do to keep my manifestation of him coming back to my arms while I accept the current reality that he’s gone and not fixate on me wanting him to come back? If my manifestation is that he’s coming back to have a long-term loving relationship with me and have a promising future together, should i not focus on the now and just let it be?