In this podcast, Brandon, Christine, and Justin discuss the importance of your desires being in alignment with your core essence.
What is your core essence, exactly? And, how can you discover those desires that resonate with it? This will all be answered in the podcast.
As a note, this is personally my favorite podcast we’ve ever done. Some great stuff came through, and so I hope it is helpful to you as well. Please leave a comment below and let me know what you thought.
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Show Notes
Discussed in today’s podcast (click the link to jump to that section of the transcript):
- Quote of the Week
- The Importance of Resonating with Your Core Essence
- How to Tell the Difference Between Ego and Soul
- Your Core Desire Doesn’t Have to Be Spiritual
- The Importance of the “I Am” Statement
- You Can Have More Than One Core Desire
- New Meaning of the Law of Attraction
- You Are Meant to Have Your Core Desires
- Every Part of Life Can Be an Expression of Your Core Essence
Transcript
[00:00:32] Brandon: Welcome to Co-Create Your Life. This is episode 23: Why Your Desire Should Resonate with Your Core Essence. I am Brandon Olivares.
[00:00:44] Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
[00:00:45] Justin: And I’m Justin Williams.
[00:00:47] Brandon: And today we are discussing a very deep topic I think. I’m excited about this one [laugh]—about why your goals—your desires—ideally should resonate with your core essence. I’ll describe what that means later. And how to tell the difference, whether your desire’s coming from an egoic level, or whether it’s coming from a soul essential level, and why one is better than the other. And there’s lots of things to cover about that.
[00:01:18] So before all that, we have some announcements to make as always. If you would like to see the show notes for this podcast, and leave a comment if you like, you can go to darkascent.org/create023.
[00:01:38] And if you’d like to ask a question that will be covered somewhere—usually in the Readers Questions, but I’ll announce it here anyway—you can go to darkascent.org/ask, and submit your question there.
Quote of the Week
[00:01:55] Brandon: So before we get started, we have a new segment as of last week called Quote of the Week. [sound effect]
[00:02:07] And this week’s quote is from Rumi, which is one of my favorite poets.
[00:02:14] Justin: Love Rumi.
[00:02:15] Brandon: Rumi is great.
[00:02:17] And so every week we try to choose a quote that matches the topic of the podcast, and the quotes are posted on Wednesdays on the blog, so you can see them there as well.
[00:02:27] So again this week’s quote is from Rumi, and so here is the quote:
[00:02:40] So that is a great quote, and very applicable to our topic today, because again we’re discussing doing things from your soul—acting on your desire out of a soul level interest—out of your own essence—and letting that desire resonate with your deepest being.
The Importance of Resonating with Your Core Essence
[00:03:02] Brandon: So now why is that important? Basically, when you have goals, of course not every goal is going to be resonant with your Core Essence.
[00:03:15] It reminds me sort of of the hierarchy of needs.
[00:03:20] Christine: Maslow.
[00:03:21] Brandon: Thank you. I was going to ask. [laugh]
[00:03:25] Christine: Of course, I’m a mental health major. I should know.
[00:03:28] Brandon: Our neighborhood psychologist.
[00:03:33] Christine: Oh please, I’m not… that would be probably Justin, right?
[00:03:37] Justin: I did have a psychology undergrad bachelors.
[00:03:39] Christine: Oh okay.
[00:03:41] Brandon: Yeah, so did Christine.
[00:03:43] Christine: Mine was mental health, but it’s the same.
[00:03:45] Justin: Because I got a masters in Voc Rehab. But yeah, Maslow—he’s good.
[00:03:48] Brandon: So it’s like the hierarchy of needs. You’re not going to start out with just right away going after your Core Essence—your desire—your deepest desire.
[00:04:00] Christine: You need your food and water and stuff first.
[00:04:02] Brandon: Right, you need all the basic stuff. You need to be making a living—to be getting by—and all that kind of fun stuff.
[00:04:09] But, our ultimate goal is to be living out of that Core Essence—living out of that deepest level of our soul, where everything is just consistent—everything is resonating with that part of ourselves.
[00:04:28] And unfortunately, a lot of people don’t do this. And I think it’s important to bring this up. We did discuss this recently I think, even a little bit in last week’s podcast I believe.
[00:04:43] But it’s so important to have a goal that really is resonating with yourself—with your deepest self, because that is going to have the greatest chance of succeeding. Because when it’s just something on the egoic level, or something that’s out of fear, or something that is not as deep as it needs to be, or should be, you’re just not as into it. You’re not as invested in it.
[00:05:13] So, it is so important that you do eventually get to a point where you are living out of that part of yourself. And we’ll describe more how to get to that point.
[00:05:27] I mean, it’s a lifelong journey though. It’s not something that you can just do overnight—wake up tomorrow, Yeah, I’m living out of my Core Essence, out of my soul.
It’s something you move towards for a lifetime.
[00:05:43] So you’re not going to listen to this podcast and suddenly realize, Hey, that’s my Core Essence! I’m going to live out of that, from now on.
[laugh] That’s not going to happen.
[00:05:53] But the point of all this is getting to that point, and closer and closer to that point, so that most of what you do is coming out of that essence. And that you do it in a way that is still supporting you. Because a lot of people will try to live their dreams, but it’s not quite there as far as subconscious programming is concerned, so they’re not really able to make a living from it.
[00:06:20] You don’t want that. So you want every part of your life to be in resonance with that Core Essence. And when it is fully in resonance, then you’ll be effortlessly able to support yourself from it—to let every part of life be affected by that in a positive way. And that’s really the value of living from that place.
How to Tell the Difference Between Ego and Soul
[00:06:48] Brandon: So again, how do you tell the difference? Because a lot of desires come from ego, and a lot of desires come from the soul.
[00:07:00] But it’s not as easy a distinction as people might think. Because as spiritual people—a lot of you listening to this probably—we tend to draw a false dichotomy between, I guess, material things and spiritual things—let’s say that.
[00:07:27] And so we think, Okay, well if my desire has to do with making a lot of money, and physical pleasures of any kind, then it’s not on a soul level. But if my desire has to do with something spiritual, or healing, or lightwork people call it, or anything on that level, then it’s my deepest Core Essence.
[00:07:55] Justin: Yep. And real quick, for me, what I was doing, even did just now—but I’ve before—what I will literally do is ask my higher self, So what is the essence of my soul? And just let it tell me. And it has nothing to do with a job, or an activity, or a physical activity. Just, what are those words or images that resonate, or that align with my soul? And then everything else, you’re trying to get to affect that, or let that be a part of it.
[00:08:31] Brandon: Right. So, it’s not so clear cut as we think. It’s not that, well, if we want to be a millionaire, that’s obviously ego—and if we want to serve the world and blah blah blah, then it’s obviously spirit. It’s not like that.
[00:08:49] What I would say is the difference, is your motivation. What’s your motivation for doing this?
[00:08:58] If your motivation is fear-based, where you do this thing because it’s the thing that will make money—it’s the thing that will support you and your family, even though you’re not super joyful about it—that’s going to be ego-based.
[00:09:21] Or it could be… in any area of life. That’s just the simplest. Let’s say relationship. You’re with someone, and, I mean every relationship has problems, but let’s say you’re with someone that you’re not super psyched about, but you’re getting older, and you kind of feel like time’s ticking, and you have to do something, and so you stick with that person, because they’re there, and it’s good enough.
[00:09:51] Or because of the children, or you don’t want to break up the family.
[00:09:54] Justin: Yeah, I’ve heard that one a lot.
[00:09:57] Brandon: That’s going to be ego-based.
[00:10:00] Justin: Yeah I’ve heard that one—the children. Well I’m staying for the children.
I know it seems like a good reason…
[00:10:08] Christine: It’s not at all. My parents are divorced, and I don’t think they could have done it if they waited for us kids to grow up. My sister was the—she was older when they got divorced, or when they separated. She was in her 20s. But I was 15, and my younger sister was like 10.
[00:10:31] So, they certainly didn’t wait for that to happen.
[00:10:37] Justin: Yeah, it’s hard to tell someone not to do that, but it’s really a bad idea.
[00:10:45] Brandon: It’s a really bad idea. Yeah, it is.
[00:10:48] Christine: Because then, the kids… kids can really feel the energy, and…
[00:10:53] Justin: And you’re not happy either. Like the two people are… which to me is really more important than the kids.
[00:10:59] Brandon: And then the lesson they learn… oh, blasphemy, Justin! [laugh]
[00:11:04] Justin: How dare I!
[00:11:05] Brandon: Your happiness is more important?
[00:11:07] Justin: How dare I speak truth. [laugh]
[00:11:08] Brandon: [laugh] The lesson they learn though out of that is, I have to just be in a relationship that I’m not happy with, just because it’ll be good for other people.
That’s what you’re passing on to them.
[00:11:23] Justin: Yeah, that’s what you’re passing on.
[00:11:25] Brandon: So that’s all going to be ego-based. When it’s coming out of fear, when it’s coming out of something that’s not your highest joy, that’s coming out of fear.
[00:11:40] Now, you also have to look at the feeling that you get from it, and that will always be a major indicator. If what you’re doing causes… I mean you can get short-term pleasure out of something, it’s like, Okay, this is working.
You can even get relief out of it. But are you really getting long-term, lasting, deep joy out of it? Like, This is it!
[00:12:06] Have you ever done something that right away, it just rings that bell—it just, This is it. This is it. This is what I’m meant to do. This is what I came to do.
[00:12:19] Christine: Yep, I have.
[00:12:20] Brandon: That’s when it’s there.
[00:12:23] Now, there are a lot of other levels under that that aren’t horrible.
[00:12:27] Justin: It might even help get you there, but not it. There’s nothing wrong with using a semi-core goal to get to the actual core goal. But you don’t want to settle. That’s where it gets people in trouble, is they get something that feels okay, and they just settle. That is absolutely a no-no.
[00:12:50] Brandon: Right. But when you get there—when you feel that deep resonance—that click—everything falls into place, and you know that’s it. That’s what you’re looking for ultimately.
Your Core Desire Doesn’t Have to Be Spiritual
[00:13:08] Brandon: Now again, it doesn’t have to be with something super spiritual. Okay, let me just tell you this, because this is simple logic [laugh]: if everyone’s deepest core desire was something you do with serving the world, and healing, and lightwork, and spiritual stuff and whatnot, where would be our doctors, and our accountants, and our lawyers, and our teachers, and our engineers, and our programmers?
[00:13:41] Christine: You.
[00:13:42] Brandon: [laugh] And our business owners, especially small business owners. Where would be all those people?
[00:13:52] Justin: It has to have that thrum—that resonance. By all means, you can do some of the other stuff… like if you make yourself feel better—the serving stuff. But if you’re supposed to be an engineer…
[00:14:08] Brandon: Right, that’s going to be it. [laugh]
[00:14:10] Justin: That’s going to be it. By all means, learn the law of attraction so you can manifest better jobs, but be an engineer!
[00:14:19] Brandon: I have to tell you something I realized, and this is really I think part of the core of why I talked about this topic.
[00:14:27] You know, I’ve had my job now for… almost four months. Can you believe it? And it’s like, I realized something as time went on.
[00:14:40] So a few weeks ago—maybe a week or two ago—one of my coworkers, who’s in charge of marketing, wanted to write a series of blog posts about all of the company’s employees. Because we all work remotely, and we all come from such different areas and cultures and whatnot.
[00:15:01] And so, she asks a series of questions, and one of the questions… Why did you join this company?
I’m not going to give the name. Why’d you join this company? What did you do before you came here?
Things like that. Normal stuff that, whatever, you’d expect.
[00:15:23] Well, everyone’s answers were very similar with those few questions. What they did before, some variation of what they’re doing now. Some kind of programming, some sort of freelance, or working for another company, or doing their own projects, or whatever. Why they joined, it just varies for each one, but whatever.
[00:15:46] But, my answer… and I’m thinking, How honest should I be here?
Because I don’t want to like, This is not my thing!
Well, before I came here,
I said, I did, and I still do, I have my own business where I do coaching.
[00:16:05] And actually, I have this intern that I’m mentoring, and we’ve become really, really good friends. I didn’t even give him my website. He found my website.
[00:16:15] Christine: He loves it.
[00:16:17] Brandon: And he loves it. He’s like, I have so much more respect for you now that I found your website and I know what you’re all about and everything.
[00:16:23] Justin: So you didn’t have respect for me before?
[laugh]
[00:16:25] Brandon: [laugh] This guy’s from Vietnam. His native language is not English.
[00:16:33] Christine: He’s going to send us food.
[00:16:37] Brandon: Yeah, he wants to send us Vietnamese food.
[00:16:39] Justin: Oh that is cool.
[00:16:40] Brandon: I know. And he’s this college student. He’s so nice.
[00:16:43] Anyway, so I said, I did coaching, and I still do. I still do it on the side
or whatever. I didn’t want to give the full story of, You know, that’s sort of my long-term goal.
[00:16:57] But I realized… and then every week when we have our meetings—we have our dev meetings—and I’m like, everyone’s super into this stuff. This is their life. I enjoy it—I’m really good at it—I enjoy the topic—but I realized, it’s not on a deep, deep, core level, me.
[00:17:19] Justin: I kind of knew that when you joined it. I’m like, This is going to just help him facilitate his business.
I knew it right away.
[00:17:27] Brandon: I wasn’t sure at first. I had to search. I had to consider giving the whole thing up—the vision up—in order to realize how valuable it really was, and how much a part of me it really was.
[00:17:41] But, the more I get into the job, the more I realize, I feel sort of like an outsider, because I don’t share that Core Essence. I mean obviously everyone’s Core Essence is different, but these people are programmers. That’s who they are, that’s what they do, that’s what they live for.
The Importance of the I Am Statement
[00:18:02] Brandon: I’m not. I perform programming—that’s a task I do—but you know how powerful the term I am
is: I am not a programmer.
[00:18:15] Christine: This is just a step.
[00:18:17] Brandon: As a core attribute of my being, I’m not a programmer. I perform programming, I’m good at programming—I am not a programmer.
[00:18:30] I am a—let’s say a teacher of spiritual principles, a coach, a guide, whatever. And when I say that, that’s a thrill. You can feel it resonate as you speak those words, right? That’s who I am. That’s what I do. That’s my profession in the deepest sense of the term, as in what I do with my life.
[00:19:02] But it’s not bad either way. These other people, their thing is programming. Someone has to be.
[00:19:12] Justin: Yes, someone has to do that. That has to be the thing that sings to their Core Essence.
[00:19:17] Brandon: Right. So it’s not just what’s the spiritual thing. I mean, spirituality is everything. Spirit and matter are one and the same. Your thing might be being a doctor, being a lawyer, being an accountant.
[00:19:32] We have an accountant we just hired a few months ago, who’s amazing. You can tell she loves her job.
[00:19:38] Justin: And what you want is to be spiritually connected to the job. It doesn’t have to be a spiritual job. It just has to be spiritually connected.
[00:19:48] For me, I’m not truly disability field. I enjoy it, and that’s supposed to support my other endeavors, but… for me it’s sort of… my essence is sort of a warrior soul, I guess. So anything that… it is difficult in the disability field to find that. But it just so happens that that’s where I am. So that’s why I like the accessibility part—the 508 ADA compliance part. It’s kind of where I’d like to go.
[00:20:34] But, I work other jobs. That’s fine, like the one I’m applying for. But, so for me, I’ve got a lot of different… I’m more business-like. I’m not warm and fuzzy. So I love the spiritual in the energy field. That actually is what I’d like to do mostly—that sings to me. But I know that there are other parts that I’m actually going to have to discover those jobs and careers. I’m okay with that, because mine is strange. It just doesn’t do quite what it’s supposed to… like the things that I should be diving into, I don’t always want to dive right in.
[00:21:14] But I may do things because I’m good at it. So the one thing for me is that if I’m good at something, I like to do it because it gives me an accomplishment. So that’s my thing. But then I have to leave it to do something else, because for my soul—my essence is an essence of balance and strength. So that’s kind of what I go for.
[00:21:36] Brandon: Yeah. But the point is, that, it’s not always going to be those super spiritual fields. It’s going to be something different for everyone. It’s just how it is.
[00:21:48] So you have to know whether that’s for you. And don’t think it has to be some kind of selfless, world-serving field. It doesn’t have to be.
[00:21:59] Christine: Because every job, the world needs. Now for me, I do music at a church. Which, it does happen to be spiritual, but that’s my preference. And that really… like when I started doing it for the Catholic Church, I started, This is exactly what I love doing.
You Can Have More Than One Core Desire
[00:22:17] Christine: But, I wonder if you could almost have more than one soul essence, because, like I…
[00:22:25] Justin: Different facets.
[00:22:26] Brandon: Well I would say, you can have different desires in attunement, in alignment, in resonance with… it’s not just one thing.
[00:22:33] Okay, so you’re going to have that desire that is your job, you might even have a few aspects of that. You’re going to have the relationship that you’re most resonant with. You’re going to have the place you want to live in that’s the most resonant. Every part of your life is going to have a Core Essence—an aspect that is resonating with your Core Essence.
[00:23:01] Christine: Well and for me, my theme is healing. I’m a healer. So I use my music as a healing tool. I also use my hands as a healing tool. But I feel like it’s all the same thing. But if I don’t do one thing though, I feel like something’s missing. Like it’s got to be both. And I do both, one is just not paid. The hands-on healing I don’t obviously charge. But the rest of it, like the music I do as a job. So it’s all the same thing for me.
[00:23:32] Brandon: Sure. Yeah, every part of your life—and this is the other thing—every part of your life, no matter how significant or insignificant it seems, has a resonance—or can have a resonance with your Core Essence.
[00:23:48] It could be anything. The house you live in. You might not like your house. Your house might not be the perfect reflection of who you are. So you might move to a different house, or you might remodel your current house.
[00:24:02] Christine: I feel a connection to the one we live in. [laugh]
New Meaning of the Law of Attraction
[00:24:06] Brandon: Yeah, but see, I would almost see… kind of taking a new meaning of the word, law of attraction: attracting all elements of your life, kind of like planets revolving around a star, that are in perfect resonance to who you are in the core of your being.
[00:24:29] Christine: I love it. Ooo!
[00:24:30] Justin: Repeat that?
[00:24:32] Brandon: [laugh] So the law of attraction is the act of attracting into orbit, like planets around a star—around a sun, all aspects of your life that are in perfect resonance with who you are. And when you are in that place, that is—coming back to the hierarchy of needs—self actualization, or whatever.
[00:24:53] Christine: Yep, that’s the highest.
[00:24:54] Justin: Man, that’s a good definition. It might be better than the one that… the one that someone told me was, stepping out of your ego into your higher self. I thought, That’s pretty good. Stepping out of your ego and into your higher self. I kind of like the… and I guess that’s true, but I kind of like the one that you just gave.
[00:25:13] Brandon: Yeah, when every part of your life is fully resonating with that part—with that deepest core, that’s when you’re there.
[00:25:23] Christine: And is that not self-actualization?
[00:25:25] Brandon: Right. You’re actualizing who you are.
[00:25:28] Now this is a life-long journey. Like I said, you might not get there in a year, or two years, or five years, or even ten years. But this is a process.
[00:25:36] How do you get there though? That’s the question. How do you get there? You get there by boldly, unapologetically, living you—living who you are. This is who I am.
[00:25:52] And, every time you show another false part of yourself to the world—a façade—an egoic face so to speak—you’re attracting false things that aren’t going to resonate.
[00:26:09] If you were to live as truly who you are every moment of every day for the rest of your life, you could only resonate—you could only attract those things that were in resonance with your Core Essence. Because if the law of attraction is such that whatever you have within—whatever you hold within—you get without. If you hold within a false pretense—a false front, that’s what you’ll get.
[00:26:45] I tried—again I know it’s a temporary step, I’m not condemning my own action—but I hold within, if I pretend to be a programmer, I’m going to get things that don’t feel quite—it just doesn’t match. Like, This is great stuff, but it’s just not fitting.
[00:27:07] Christine: It’s your step to being actualized.
[00:27:08] Brandon: Right. But if I hold within myself, if I’m true to myself every moment of every day, I can only attract the best, highest things for myself, in every part of life. That’s not easy, but that’s… sometimes we don’t even know what that true essence—that core is. How to be true to ourselves. But that’s what it takes: being absolutely true to yourself will inevitably, because of the law of attraction, attract only those things that are perfectly in resonance and alignment with who you are as a soul. So that is extremely important, as you can see—as is obvious.
You Are Meant to Have Your Core Desires
[00:27:57] Brandon: One last point though I think a lot of people will get anxious about. People will say, Is my desire—what if my desire is only egoic? What if my desire is not something the Universe wants for me, or is not something I’m meant to have?
[00:28:14] Well guess what? If you’re desire is from your Core Essence, that’s what the Universe wants you to have.
[00:28:20] Justin: I mean, you’re meant to have whatever you attract from within. You’re meant to have it, even if you didn’t want it.
[00:28:28] Christine: There was a priest that just recently passed away. I don’t really know much of the story, but basically, he wrote about what is God’s will for you? And he nipped that right in the bud. Because people would always say, I want what God wants for me.
Blah blah blah blah blah. And he did not agree with that. He said, Well what God wants for you is what the desire of your heart is, because you were born to have that.
It’s what you were meant to do; it’s your Core Essence. I mean he didn’t say Core Essence. But basically, your desire—your deepest desire—it’s meant to be, because that’s what it is. So he got rid of that idea.
[00:29:16] Brandon: Right. If this weren’t your core desire, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about it. Like my fear used to be, I really want to be some sort of spiritual teacher, or guide, or someone who passes on these sorts of principles. What if that’s not what I’m meant to do?
But my desire was so strong, of course it was what I was meant to do! Like obviously. It’s just I have to find a path to get there. It’s not going to be handed to you.
[00:29:47] Someone might say, Well what if I don’t know what that Core Desire is?
If it is your core desire—if it’s in alignment and resonance with your Core Essence, it will be something that you’re meant to have. It will come, as long as you create the path to that point.
[00:30:11] If it’s something that is out of ego, you will realize it soon enough, and then you don’t want it anyway.
[00:30:16] Christine: It’ll be shallow.
[00:30:18] Brandon: It’ll be shallow. Like it reminds me of when I almost wanted to go back to school to be an accountant. I was like, Well this isn’t really working out, so I’m going to go back to school.
And I tried walking that path—I went in that direction—and it just didn’t fit. Obstacles came up. And I thought it’s what I really wanted, but I realized, I was just doing it out of fear. It’s not really what I wanted.
[00:30:39] Justin: Yeah, and like I say, it’s okay to use stepping stones. It’s okay to use something to support your soul’s effort until your sol’s desires for as long as you want, as long as you’re living out your soul’s desires until you can get to a spot where that’s all you’re doing. That’s okay to do. And you can change as you go—your essence, or what sings to you can change as you go. So don’t worry about, What if they don’t want me to have it?
I mean, if you’re worried about that, then it’s probably not it.
[00:31:20] Brandon: Or it is, and you’re so insecure about it.
[00:31:25] I do want to clarify. Your essence itself doesn’t change, but your expression of that essence will evolve over time. Your essence is static from the moment you’re born. It’s set. It’s who you are.
[00:31:42] Christine: I think our journey is finding it.
[00:31:43] Brandon: Yeah, your journey is finding it, and expressing it in the purest way possible.
[00:31:48] Everyone is meant to do that. I see people around me who don’t do that, and they just are empty shells, and it really makes me so sad. Everyone is meant to find that. Everyone is meant to find that.
[00:32:03] And people are successful to various degrees. Some people don’t do it at all and are totally disconnected from it, and you’ll see it in their lives because they’re unhappy. Some people get partially there, and they’re pretty happy, and things are going pretty well, but not perfect. Ideally, I want to get all the way there if I can. I’m an all or nothing kind of person. Ask Christine.
[00:32:26] Christine: Oh, yeah.
[00:32:27] Brandon: Whether I will or not, who knows? I hope I will. I mean, I still have a long time ahead of me. That’s my goal. I want to get completely to the point where I’m expressing my Core Essence every moment of every day, and attracting the best and highest expression of that into my life all the time.
[00:32:47] I think that should be all of our goals. It’s a journey though, like I said. It’s something you work towards. It’s not something you just get like that. You have to work towards it. The Universe doesn’t just hand it to you. Because it’s the journey that is the important part, not as much the destination. The destination’s awesome.
[00:33:11] Christine: Life is a journey, not a destination.
[00:33:13] Brandon: Right. But the Universe isn’t just going to hand it out—Oh, here you go. Here’s your Core Essence and all your desires.
No, it’s the journey of getting there.
[00:33:22] And this is so much deeper than just, again, write it on a vision board, and visualize it, and affirm it. But finding it, working through it, working through the resistance, getting to that point, truly understanding and expressing who you are—this is all a really, really significant long journey—extensive journey. It doesn’t have to be long, but it usually is long. So don’t rush things!
Every Part of Life Can Be an Expression of Your Core Essence
[00:33:48] Brandon: If you have a desire, I’m not saying you can’t have a desire tomorrow. I mean, you’re always going to have, let’s say, big, medium, small desires. Like current level, next level, ultimate level goals. But, all those things can be an expression of your Core Essence.
[00:34:06] So, it can be an expression of your Core Essence to wake up tomorrow and have cereal for breakfast. If that’s what brings you joy, that’s your Core Essence!
[00:34:18] Christine: CHOCOLATE! [laugh]
[00:34:19] Justin: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I’m just saying.
[00:34:21] Brandon: Raisin bran! Or Mini-Wheats—Frosted Mini-Wheats!
[00:34:24] Justin: Count Chocula! Lucky Charms!
[00:34:27] Christine: Eww, I hate Lucky Charms.
[00:34:29] Justin: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the best.
[00:34:31] Brandon: Christine likes that, too.
[00:34:32] Christine: You do too!
[00:34:33] Brandon: I do, too, but I like my Mini Wheats better.
[00:34:34] Christine: You like Raisin Bran.
[00:34:36] Brandon: I like Raisin Bran, too.
[00:34:36] Justin: That’s too sweet.
[00:34:37] Christine: Old man cereal.
[00:34:39] Brandon: So, you know, like Joseph Campbell says, Follow your bliss
. That’s your Core Essence. Follow your bliss, and that will take you there. Again, if that’s getting up tomorrow and having cereal, that’s your Core Essence. If that’s going on vacation, that’s your Core Essence. It can be small things. It doesn’t have to be really big, huge, life-changing things. It can be small little things.
[00:35:08] What do you want to do now? Right now I want to be doing this podcast. That’s my Core Essence. What is the thing you want to do right now? That is what your Core Essence is. That is what the expression of your Core Essence is. Always do what brings you the most joy.
[00:35:26] And if you can’t for some reason, then get to that point as quickly as possible. If you say, Well, I’d rather not go to my job that I’m really not crazy about or something, okay, fair enough. But you know what? That’s temporary. So create a pathway to the point where you wake up every morning and you can’t wait to do what you’re going to do that day.
[00:35:50] Because that’s possible, and you’re meant to have that. You’re not meant to struggle. You’re not meant to do something you don’t enjoy. You’re meant to have that. If you don’t have it right now, fine.
[00:35:59] Christine: But you’ll get it.
[00:36:01] Brandon: But you’ll get it.
[00:36:01] Christine: But you can’t also be like, I don’t want to go to work today. I don’t want to go to work today.
And be all miserable about it. Because if you know it’s temporary, then you can deal with it, and you can find the joyful things about it.
[00:36:13] Justin: Also, and if you don’t know exactly what the entire picture—the expression of your soul essence is—you can ask your spirit guides to help you find that.
[00:36:29] Brandon: Sure, they’ll help you, yeah.
[00:36:31] And it’ll unfold—it’ll blossom over time. It’s like a flower. You water it by your attention, and over time you realize more and more of what that is. But you have to start.
[00:36:45] So that was a very deep discussion—and very profound I think. And I hope it really helps you to know where you’re going. Essentially, are you going towards your Core Essence or away from it? That’s the question. And every day, you should be getting closer and closer to that Core Essence. That’s the goal.
[00:37:03] So I hope that this helps you to find that, and have the courage to go in that direction.
[00:37:10] So once again, if you would like to see the show notes for this podcast, or leave a comment, you can go to darkascent.org/create023. And if you’d like to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, or rate or review us, you can go to darkascent.org/createitunes.
[00:37:34] So once again, thank you so much for listening, everyone, and we will be back next week for another episode of Co-Create Your Life.
[00:37:43] I am Brandon Olivares.
[00:37:45] Christine: And I’m Christine Olivares.
[00:37:46] Justin: And I’m Justin Williams.
[00:37:47] Brandon: Anything is possible!
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How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Have you been living according to your Core Essence? How can you start expressing it more authentically in your life? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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hi Brendod
great podcast. living your core essense reminds me of bashar’s concept of “highest excitement”.
Hi @mb, thanks so much. 🙂 I think your
is the path to discovering your Core Essence, but it’s not your Core Essence itself. 🙂 But certainly follow the path of joy, or excitement, will bring you closer and closer to that.hi Brendod
great podcast. living your core essense reminds me of bashar’s concept of “highest excitement”.
Hi @mb, thanks so much. 🙂 I think your
is the path to discovering your Core Essence, but it’s not your Core Essence itself. 🙂 But certainly follow the path of joy, or excitement, will bring you closer and closer to that.What a fascinating discussion! I love that you say you can find your Core Essence even in small things, like what to have for breakfast. So many people feel like they don’t know what they want to do with their lives, and they just don’t know who they want to be in the world in a grand sense. But everyone can have some sense of what small things resonate with them and which small things don’t. By paying attention to which little “stupid” things you really love and which ones you don’t, you sort of start learning to trust yourself and hear yourself. Then, eventually, you start getting a sense of what job you’d love or what country you want to live in or things like that.
I think I’d remind people to be a little careful of your statement, “If it weren’t your Core desire, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about it.” I think the way you mean it, it’s true, but unfortunately, egoic desires can be profoundly strong. I’ve known many people who were just obsessed with “I have to get Johnny to date me!!! I want him so much!!” when although they felt like they would die without that particular person’s love, really it was an egoic thing. Johnny was not interested, and a relationship with him wouldn’t have been good for them anyway, even though they felt so strongly that life was not worth living if Johnny wouldn’t take them to prom. That may sound like a silly example, but seriously, people can get really hung up on egoic desires for romantic love and other things. I think you’re right that Core Essence desires are in some sense stronger than egoic ones, but it doesn’t always feel that way. The ego has a needy quality that makes its desires feel really, really important, but in a desperate way. I’m not sure if the soul’s desires ever feel that desperate or not. They may feel strong in a different way. What do you think?
On a lighter note, I think some people might worry, “How can I show my real self to the people around me? They are not going to like it.” It may be true that some people will actually not want to be around you as much once you really start showing your true thoughts and interests. But that is really just the people whose company doesn’t resonate with your Core Essence politely taking themselves off! 🙂 So it’s a good thing. And if you are seriously considering being your Core Essence more and more, then you may have already attracted people into your life who are also ready to start doing that. Going ahead and showing your true colors may help them make the same move! It can be hard to be the weird one who goes first, but it can be fun, too. 🙂
Hi @Lisa,
Well I think they are different. Egoic desires feel like grasping, clinging, needing. Soul desires are soft and comfortable, but at the same time, intense.
But ego can be involved even with a soul desire. When there’s resistance, the ego will freak out, even when it is a core desire we’re dealing with.
But, who’s to say that one person we want to be with isn’t a core desire? I mean, if that’s the purest expression of soul in the moment, then that’s what it is. I’m not saying there aren’t times that someone can just be infatuated with someone, but just because a relationship is short-lived doesn’t mean that it wasn’t an expression of soul.
It’ll become much more clarified as you pursue the goal, which is why I say, regardless, just pursue it and see what happens. If it’s ego-based, then it’ll become obvious soon enough.
But when the desire is this heart-based longing that I hear so many people telling me they have for their goals, that is almost always soul-based.
What a fascinating discussion! I love that you say you can find your Core Essence even in small things, like what to have for breakfast. So many people feel like they don’t know what they want to do with their lives, and they just don’t know who they want to be in the world in a grand sense. But everyone can have some sense of what small things resonate with them and which small things don’t. By paying attention to which little “stupid” things you really love and which ones you don’t, you sort of start learning to trust yourself and hear yourself. Then, eventually, you start getting a sense of what job you’d love or what country you want to live in or things like that.
I think I’d remind people to be a little careful of your statement, “If it weren’t your Core desire, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about it.” I think the way you mean it, it’s true, but unfortunately, egoic desires can be profoundly strong. I’ve known many people who were just obsessed with “I have to get Johnny to date me!!! I want him so much!!” when although they felt like they would die without that particular person’s love, really it was an egoic thing. Johnny was not interested, and a relationship with him wouldn’t have been good for them anyway, even though they felt so strongly that life was not worth living if Johnny wouldn’t take them to prom. That may sound like a silly example, but seriously, people can get really hung up on egoic desires for romantic love and other things. I think you’re right that Core Essence desires are in some sense stronger than egoic ones, but it doesn’t always feel that way. The ego has a needy quality that makes its desires feel really, really important, but in a desperate way. I’m not sure if the soul’s desires ever feel that desperate or not. They may feel strong in a different way. What do you think?
On a lighter note, I think some people might worry, “How can I show my real self to the people around me? They are not going to like it.” It may be true that some people will actually not want to be around you as much once you really start showing your true thoughts and interests. But that is really just the people whose company doesn’t resonate with your Core Essence politely taking themselves off! 🙂 So it’s a good thing. And if you are seriously considering being your Core Essence more and more, then you may have already attracted people into your life who are also ready to start doing that. Going ahead and showing your true colors may help them make the same move! It can be hard to be the weird one who goes first, but it can be fun, too. 🙂
Hi @Lisa,
Well I think they are different. Egoic desires feel like grasping, clinging, needing. Soul desires are soft and comfortable, but at the same time, intense.
But ego can be involved even with a soul desire. When there’s resistance, the ego will freak out, even when it is a core desire we’re dealing with.
But, who’s to say that one person we want to be with isn’t a core desire? I mean, if that’s the purest expression of soul in the moment, then that’s what it is. I’m not saying there aren’t times that someone can just be infatuated with someone, but just because a relationship is short-lived doesn’t mean that it wasn’t an expression of soul.
It’ll become much more clarified as you pursue the goal, which is why I say, regardless, just pursue it and see what happens. If it’s ego-based, then it’ll become obvious soon enough.
But when the desire is this heart-based longing that I hear so many people telling me they have for their goals, that is almost always soul-based.
Ooh dammit Brandon, this podcast did not show my Core Essence :P. I just came out of a period where I was quite frantically searching for what my Core Essence is. It gave me a lot of anxiety, I started questioning everything: my boyfriend, my family, my friends, my desire to have kids someday, what my job should be or what study I should start with. And I kind of came to the conclusion that I just couldn’t figure it out in this instant. I am currently trying to do the things I like doing most in that moment and focusing on feeling less anxious. I do know for certain that the job I currently have is not my Core Essence but for the rest: I don’t know. They might be, they might not (that in itself is very scary to me). Even if they’re not, I am sure they will help me get there. I will just continue to live my life and try to have as much fun and joy as possible and I’m sure it will all fall into place someday or along the way. It was really helpful for me to hear you talk about the little things as well. It makes me feel like I am doing good right now.
Hi @Kirsten, thanks for your comment. 🙂 It’s okay to not know what your Core Essence is right now. It’s really a life-long discovery process.
But yeah, find it in the small things for now. That’s the best place to start. 🙂
Ooh dammit Brandon, this podcast did not show my Core Essence :P. I just came out of a period where I was quite frantically searching for what my Core Essence is. It gave me a lot of anxiety, I started questioning everything: my boyfriend, my family, my friends, my desire to have kids someday, what my job should be or what study I should start with. And I kind of came to the conclusion that I just couldn’t figure it out in this instant. I am currently trying to do the things I like doing most in that moment and focusing on feeling less anxious. I do know for certain that the job I currently have is not my Core Essence but for the rest: I don’t know. They might be, they might not (that in itself is very scary to me). Even if they’re not, I am sure they will help me get there. I will just continue to live my life and try to have as much fun and joy as possible and I’m sure it will all fall into place someday or along the way. It was really helpful for me to hear you talk about the little things as well. It makes me feel like I am doing good right now.
Hi @Kirsten, thanks for your comment. 🙂 It’s okay to not know what your Core Essence is right now. It’s really a life-long discovery process.
But yeah, find it in the small things for now. That’s the best place to start. 🙂