In last week’s LOA deep dive post, I talked about how the law of attraction requires a light touch.
This is an idea I initially got from Richard Dotts, but until recently, was never really quite sure what I thought about it. But as with so many other things, my own personal experience caused me to understand this concept so much more deeply than simply reading about it ever could have.
The truth is, the need to use a light touch is one of the foundational keys of successfully using the law of attraction in your life.
I call it attraction vs. force. Attraction is what you need to use to lightly pull your goal into your reality, but it’s extremely easy, and common, to cross the line over into force.
You might be asking, “If this is the 8th key, where are the other 9?”
In fact, they are all covered in my online class, 10 Essential Keys to Make the Law of Attraction Work for You. This key is covered as key #8 of that class, and there are 9 other keys just as important to successfully using the law of attraction in your life.
This post will cover this key at great length, and show you how to apply it to your life.
Click here to go learn all the other keys as well
What Is “A Light Touch?”
I first found the term “light touch” in regards to the law of attraction in Richard Dotts’ book, Light Touch Manifestations.
As I said, at first I wasn’t quite sure what I thought of the concept. His concept of it in the book was basically that you don’t have to focus on your desire much at all, but only very lightly in order to cause it to happen.
I don’t entirely agree with his conclusion, but I’m borrowing the term because I think it is still useful.
I don’t entirely agree, because the way he describes it really only applies if you have little to no resistance—i.e., if you are working on a current level goal.
If you’re working on a current level goal, then indeed, all you really have to do is focus on it very lightly, and it’ll slide right into your reality.
But for next level goals, or even ultimate level goals, it’s just not good enough. Resistance will come up, and it takes a bit of persistence to work through that.
So then, what exactly do I mean by taking a “light touch” with the law of attraction?
I simply mean that your stance with the law of attraction cannot be heavy-handed. You cannot use force with your goals. As I said last week, you cannot grab your goal out of the Universe’s hand. Any attempt to do so will actually only serve to push the goal away.
You have to adopt a stance of having the goal—of holding it so strongly and so purely that it is magnetically drawn into your reality.
Force vs. Attraction
There’s an energetic trick that I learned some time ago, and is also taught by David Snyder, an NLP instructor, among other things.
You can try this if you’re sensitive to energy. Sometime try to have a friend resist you, perhaps with their arm or something. As you push against them, they push back.
You’ll notice that the harder you push against them, the harder they push back. That’s Newton’s 3rd law, after all.
But if instead you stop pushing, go within, and just energetically decide that you are going to move your hand in that direction, you’ll find all of a sudden that they just cannot resist you.
As you decide that within yourself, their energy attunes to your energy. When two systems are attuned in such a way, they have no choice but to act in concert. And so, as you move your hand forward (notice I say move, not push), they have to go with you.
You’re not pushing, because they are no longer a separate entity you are acting against. They are part of a unified whole that is moving in the same direction.
Seriously, it’s pretty cool. Try it out sometime. 🙂
Your goal is much the same. If you try to force your goal into your reality, you are acting against it, and against the Universe as well.
In essence there are three separate systems all active at once: you, your goal, and the Universe.
But when you go within and become the goal, those three systems become one, unified whole, all moving in the same direction.
Resistance Results from Force
This clarifies exactly where resistance comes into it.
Very simply, resistance shows you where you are still pushing against your goal.
If you had completely embodied your goal, then there would be nothing to push against. You would be one and the same—united as a single system.
Resistance shows you where you are still at odds with your goal.
But, many of us have a dangerous habit. When there is resistance, we try to push against it. We try to force things into place.
But all this does is to actually inflame the resistance and make it far worse.
Let’s say, for example, that your goal is to get a job that you love.
But, as you work towards that, you feel more and more resistance. You have thoughts like, “The economy’s not very good. My chances of getting this job are poor.” Or, “I don’t have enough experience for this.”
And your natural reaction to that is to push against it.
You might start doubling your efforts to send out more resumes, to jobs that you might not enjoy so much, because you feel you have no choice.
Or you might ask your potential employer over and over whether they’ve come to a decision.
Regardless, this is the point that your goal begins to be pushed away. I’ve seen it again and again. Even if you initially had a 99% chance of getting it, panicking like this and trying to use force will virtually ensure that you don’t get it.
Think about what’s really going on under the surface.
You weren’t able to embody the goal, and you still feel where you are not fully integrated with that system. So, you start trying to apply force against it. But the moment you do that, you actually separate yourself from your goal even more, because you just cannot push against something that’s part of you.
If instead you were to relax into that feeling of resistance, and totally let it go, then you would more fully embody the goal.
It’s a bit like swimming. The worst thing you can do when in water is panic. The more energy you use, the worse.
But if instead you relax into it and move with the water, things become far easier for you.
Creating Attraction to Your Goal
Your goal must become an expression of your own being. You must adopt it so deeply into your being that there just is no separation.
You must learn to move with your goal, not against it. That is the only way to quickly and efficiently achieve your goal.
When you have done this—when you’ve completely embodied your goal and allowed it to become an expression of yourself, then a powerful magnetism is set up between you and your goal. It is pulled into your life, in the gentlest and subtlest way.
The moment you feel you must apply force, you know that you are sabotaging the process. That need to force arises from the ego, which believes in separation. When you are separate, then you need to force the Universe to do what you want it to do. But when you are at one with the Universe, it will naturally do what you want, because it is simply an expression of your being.
So attraction can only be set up on a soul level. That’s why it’s so important that your desire resonates with you on such a soul level. We’ll actually be discussing exactly that in this Friday’s podcast. 🙂
How do you set up this kind of attraction?
It requires two things:
- Regularly adopting the feeling of having your goal, such as via visualization or affirmations
- And when resistance arises, as it inevitably will, simply relaxing even deeper into the goal and just letting go of the resistance
This combination will ensure that you are setting up a powerful attraction between you and your goal.
Remember, resistance just shows you where you are still not completely embodying your goal. It is actually quite useful feedback.
When you use it as the feedback it is, and simply adjust your own focus to compensate instead of trying to forcibly fix it, then it has done its job, and will happily go away.
When you have resistance that says something like, “this is never going to happen,” you don’t try to argue with it. That thought saying “it’s never going to happen” is just demonstrating one possible reality, which previously you have subscribed to. But it’s your choice whether you wish to continue subscribing to it or not.
So when that comes up, don’t argue with it. Instead, consider the feeling of it actually being possible for your goal to happen, and sink deeply into that feeling.
Then, you’ll find that the resistance will just melt away of its own accord. It doesn’t need you to do anything about it. It’s really just a messenger.
And so as you do this, you will perfect your own embodiment of the goal, and less and less resistance will arise.
You will find that as you do this, things go so much more smoothly. You no longer have to fight your goal. You no longer have to try to make things happen. You no longer have to try to figure out how your goal will come to you.
All you have to do is to decide where you will go, and go there within yourself. The Universe will follow.
As I said above, this is just key #8 of the 10 essential keys to make the law of attraction work in your life.
Every key is just as foundational and just as important as this one for manifesting anything you want in life.
Would you like to learn these other keys?
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Have you been fighting your goal? How will you set up attraction, instead of force? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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The David Snyder demonstration was a good example of what you mean here.
I like thinking of resistance as a messenger about what parts of my thinking need to change. Often I feel like I need to “do something” about my resistance–usually something complicated and hard. But really, I guess it’s just cuing me what beliefs I’ve previously had about the topic so I can practice the new beliefs. Nice post!
Thanks @Lisa. Yeah resistance is a messenger, and reacting to it is the exactly wrong thing to do. 🙂 But it’s very common, anyway. We have to just keep our focus on the wanted, and easily move in that direction without force.
The David Snyder demonstration was a good example of what you mean here.
I like thinking of resistance as a messenger about what parts of my thinking need to change. Often I feel like I need to “do something” about my resistance–usually something complicated and hard. But really, I guess it’s just cuing me what beliefs I’ve previously had about the topic so I can practice the new beliefs. Nice post!
Thanks @Lisa. Yeah resistance is a messenger, and reacting to it is the exactly wrong thing to do. 🙂 But it’s very common, anyway. We have to just keep our focus on the wanted, and easily move in that direction without force.
Great post, becoming one with or embodying your goal is a way to flow into the dance with it, you don’t push your dance partner away.
Great post, becoming one with or embodying your goal is a way to flow into the dance with it, you don’t push your dance partner away.
Just a few days ago, I checked my current health goal against the 10 keys. Especially reading 2 of them empowered me even more, and I became more confident.
However, I will admit that until this blog post, the 8th key was always somewhat obscure to me. You explaining it here in more detail came just at the right time! I think I finally truly understand what it represents, and now I can see how I can refine my approach towards my goal. I feel like I’ve been doing very well, especially with allowing the resistance, but I think that I have used too much force when applying the will. I just tested this in my mind, and felt the difference. There’s no need to use so much force with will. It indeed is about relaxing into it and the knowing of having it.
Thanks @Z. I’m glad the post could clarify things. 🙂
Yeah it’s one of my favorite keys, because it is so subtle, really. That whole last part of the class, keys 7-10, is my favorite. 🙂
Just a few days ago, I checked my current health goal against the 10 keys. Especially reading 2 of them empowered me even more, and I became more confident.
However, I will admit that until this blog post, the 8th key was always somewhat obscure to me. You explaining it here in more detail came just at the right time! I think I finally truly understand what it represents, and now I can see how I can refine my approach towards my goal. I feel like I’ve been doing very well, especially with allowing the resistance, but I think that I have used too much force when applying the will. I just tested this in my mind, and felt the difference. There’s no need to use so much force with will. It indeed is about relaxing into it and the knowing of having it.
Thanks @Z. I’m glad the post could clarify things. 🙂
Yeah it’s one of my favorite keys, because it is so subtle, really. That whole last part of the class, keys 7-10, is my favorite. 🙂
One of my big breakthroughs with resistance was realizing that I didn’t have to push past my resistance to feel my goal – I just had to reach within myself to feel that peace and certainty that it will happen.
I used to approach the law of attraction as a way to make things happen, but it really seems to be more about manipulating probabilies and realities. This approach has helped a lot when using divination alongside magic – instead of panicking when I get a less than favorable reading, it’s easier to take it as feedback (isn’t it really just showing me where my resistance is?), and refocus on the desired reality.
It’s easier use magic when you realize that resistance in all its forms isn’t telling you that something will happen. You don’t have to stop it or do anything about it; you just let it flow through you. My biggest sticking point right now is getting frustrated when my desire still hasn’t 100% manifested, but I know that pushing against the present makes it harder for things to shift. Ill admit it’s hard to tell yourself “It’s okay” when things seem not as okay as you’d like. I had a nagtive situation that I turned around for the positive yesterday, though, that prompted me to start saying, “Either is is okay, or it will be okay.” Either everything is fine right now and you’re worrying for nothing, or everything will shortly be fine and there’s still no reason to worry. 🙂
Hi @Chaucer,
Yes, exactly right. That’s the one point I’ve been trying to get across for quite a while. Resistance doesn’t mean something bad will happen, or you won’t get your goal.
My work with The Work of Byron Katie really helped me to separate the two. I learned that the thoughts in my head are only stories, and I have the power to believe them or not. I take it a step further: if I believe them, I give them the power to manifest. If I don’t believe them, they have exactly zero power.
That’s really important (thus the formatting, lol). If I don’t believe them, they have zero power.
The power of manifestation is in my hands, and in my hands only.
I’m very glad to hear about your improvements, Chaucer. 🙂
I got an image in my mind when I was reading this blog post. Fully embodying a goal is like putting a sticker (or a sticky thin sheet) on something, and doing that completely smoothly, without any creases. When there is resistance with our goal, it’s like a small crease that was created by not putting the sticker on a surface perfectly. Fighting resistance when it arises, it’s like trying to adjust those creases by pulling them to one side or another, which can lead to tearing of the sticker. However surrendering to the resistance is kind of like applying hot steam, which softens the sticker, and it can gently be expanded, which makes the creases disappear easily and effortlessly.
Today I had a big resistance come up in the morning, which was related to my health, but the first one of this kind. And in the afternoon, I got another big wave of resistance, again first of this kind during my hospital stay. However I felt it so viscerally in my abdomen. I surrendered and embraced it, and it went well. I feel much better now. My stay at the hospital has really given me a lot of breathing room, and a great chance to practice mindfulness, way more than ever.
I like that both of us are doing so well with out big goals. 🙂
I also like reading about your realizations and new clarity that you get. This is a great community.
One of my big breakthroughs with resistance was realizing that I didn’t have to push past my resistance to feel my goal – I just had to reach within myself to feel that peace and certainty that it will happen.
I used to approach the law of attraction as a way to make things happen, but it really seems to be more about manipulating probabilies and realities. This approach has helped a lot when using divination alongside magic – instead of panicking when I get a less than favorable reading, it’s easier to take it as feedback (isn’t it really just showing me where my resistance is?), and refocus on the desired reality.
It’s easier use magic when you realize that resistance in all its forms isn’t telling you that something will happen. You don’t have to stop it or do anything about it; you just let it flow through you. My biggest sticking point right now is getting frustrated when my desire still hasn’t 100% manifested, but I know that pushing against the present makes it harder for things to shift. Ill admit it’s hard to tell yourself “It’s okay” when things seem not as okay as you’d like. I had a nagtive situation that I turned around for the positive yesterday, though, that prompted me to start saying, “Either is is okay, or it will be okay.” Either everything is fine right now and you’re worrying for nothing, or everything will shortly be fine and there’s still no reason to worry. 🙂
Hi @Chaucer,
Yes, exactly right. That’s the one point I’ve been trying to get across for quite a while. Resistance doesn’t mean something bad will happen, or you won’t get your goal.
My work with The Work of Byron Katie really helped me to separate the two. I learned that the thoughts in my head are only stories, and I have the power to believe them or not. I take it a step further: if I believe them, I give them the power to manifest. If I don’t believe them, they have exactly zero power.
That’s really important (thus the formatting, lol). If I don’t believe them, they have zero power.
The power of manifestation is in my hands, and in my hands only.
I’m very glad to hear about your improvements, Chaucer. 🙂
I got an image in my mind when I was reading this blog post. Fully embodying a goal is like putting a sticker (or a sticky thin sheet) on something, and doing that completely smoothly, without any creases. When there is resistance with our goal, it’s like a small crease that was created by not putting the sticker on a surface perfectly. Fighting resistance when it arises, it’s like trying to adjust those creases by pulling them to one side or another, which can lead to tearing of the sticker. However surrendering to the resistance is kind of like applying hot steam, which softens the sticker, and it can gently be expanded, which makes the creases disappear easily and effortlessly.
Today I had a big resistance come up in the morning, which was related to my health, but the first one of this kind. And in the afternoon, I got another big wave of resistance, again first of this kind during my hospital stay. However I felt it so viscerally in my abdomen. I surrendered and embraced it, and it went well. I feel much better now. My stay at the hospital has really given me a lot of breathing room, and a great chance to practice mindfulness, way more than ever.
I like that both of us are doing so well with out big goals. 🙂
I also like reading about your realizations and new clarity that you get. This is a great community.