Most people, when learning about the law of attraction, have no problem with the initial stage: feeling really excited about their goal. That’s pretty easy, right?
But, they run into trouble when it comes to actually completing it. It always seems to be that one illusive step away from fully manifesting.
Well, there’s a simple reason for that. Today I hope to show you how to stop sabotaging your manifestations, by understanding what I’ll call the lifecycle of a desire.
The Beginning of a Manifestation
Most small manifestations are no problem at all—what I call your current level goals. Even the start of your next level goals are not often too difficult. They might even be pretty easy at first, because you’re really excited about this manifestation. Whenever you visualize your goal, you feel excited. And of course, according to most law of attraction material out there, this should mean that it’s right around the corner, right?
In actuality, this is just the very beginning of your manifestation. In the book, Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz, he refers to this stage as the germination stage: that stage of the manifestation process that is full of new energy and lots of excitement.
It’s great, because its easy to know that you are on track. Just build up that emotional energy as much as possible, and you’re on your way.
How You Are Sabotaging Your Manifestations
However, many people run into a roadblock right around this point.
It starts getting harder to feel excited about your desire. And so you try to force it. And you might even worry that perhaps you don’t even want this desire anymore.
It starts introducing a lot of stress into the system. Every time you visualize your desire, or journal about it, or say affirmations, you try to turn up the volume on your emotions, but it just feels forced, and fake.
So what do you think the Universe will give you back, when you start feeling forced and fake?
Yep, you got it. More experiences that feel forced and fake.
Egoic Emotions vs. Spiritual Emotions
It seems so counterintuitive, because we know that emotions are the language of the subconscious mind. And yet, our most powerful tool seems to turn against us when we are so close to manifesting our greatest desires.
The thing you need to understand is the difference between spiritual emotions and egoic emotions. I discussed this difference in our recent podcast on emotional guidance.
But essentially, your egoic emotions are those strong, powerful emotions that you associate with pleasurable goals: excitement, joy, happiness, etc. They are visceral, palpable emotions. They are rooted in the body—in the egoic self.
They are great for starting off a major, next level goal. However, they are not enough.
It’s the spiritual emotions that really matter. The ego needs to be involved, being inspired by the goal, but it cannot be purely egoic. The higher self also needs to be involved.
The spiritual emotions are far deeper. They are joy, yes, but lasting joy. They are peace, stillness, and calm. It is on the spiritual level that you can trust that things will work out for you.
With just the egoic level, you will burn out too quickly. But once you introduce the spiritual level, you can bring your manifestation to completion.
Allowing Your Desires to Become Ordinary
So the reason you are sabotaging your manifestations is that you aren’t allowing that initial, egoic emotion to soften and mature into the deeper, longer lasting spiritual emotion.
This can also be experienced as your desire suddenly feeling ordinary. Where once your desire evoked great excitement and joy from you, it starts to become, just, normal.
This is the point at which many people panic. They crave that big, egoic emotional response, and after a while, they don’t get it anymore. They get the deeper, spiritual emotional response, where the desire feels good, it feels right, and so on. But it’s not so in-your-face.
The egoic emotions are great for the initial burst of energy. But, then you enter what Robert Fritz calls the assimilation stage.
Transitioning to the Assimilation Stage
Think of an airplane. I know, I’m really hitting these airplane analogies hard lately. 🙂
But, it takes a lot of energy to get off the ground and into the air. It burns more fuel for a plane to take off than it does to simply cruise at altitude. If it kept using the same amount of fuel, it’d be out in no time.
It’s the same with your initial egoic emotions. They are great to get your manifestation off the ground. But once you are moving definitively towards your goal, they will just become exhausting.
So, you switch over to another mode: that of the spiritual emotions. It takes less focus and effort to keep things going. Yes, resistance will come up, but you have built a strong foundation for your goal to manifest.
But, the mistake many people make here is to try to burn up those flashier egoic emotions. They feel more exciting, so it seems we need to keep triggering them over and over again. Going back to our airplane analogy, you’re never allowing the plane to reach cruising altitude. You’re just continuing to ascend, and eventually, you’ll stall out.
So, the assimilation stage is the stage during which you come ever closer to fully embodying your goal. You have built the foundation, and now you just need to iron out the bugs. In The Art of Reality Creation, I call this the debugging stage.
This stage doesn’t feel as good or exciting as the germination stage discussed above, at least not on the egoic level, but it is still vital. If you don’t give yourself that chance to go through this stage, you can never bring your manifestation to completion.
Your Subconscious Mind Makes Frequent Experiences Ordinary
Another reason that your desire begins to feel ordinary is because your subconscious mind is built to make your everyday experiences ordinary. When you fight this natural inclination of your subconscious mind, you are sabotaging your manifestations.
The subconscious mind is essentially an automator. It takes your regular experiences, and makes them feel normal and ordinary.
To a millionaire, the first million is life-changing. The second is still pretty awesome, but not as big of a deal as the first. After many millions have been earned, do you think it feels like such a big deal anymore? Do you think they are just as excited about, say, the tenth million, as they were about the first? No, of course not.
Warren Buffett makes $1.54 million every hour. Yes, every hour of every day, he makes another $1.54 million. Do you think that feels like a big deal? Of course it doesn’t!
Like it or not, even the greatest things in life will start to feel ordinary once they become a regular experience. This frees up emotional energy for other goals you might like to pursue. If every single positive experience felt ecstatic, it’d get rather exhausting, rather quickly.
This is the same when you visualize your goal every day. Your subconscious mind is inundated with the imagery of your goal, and so it starts to become used to it.
When Your Desire Becomes Ordinary, It Means You Are Close
This step is actually very desirable, despite the counterintuitive nature of this stage.
Remember that manifesting is all about embodying your goal. Initially, there is a large gap between your current inner state and the vibrational essence of your goal. However, the application of egoic emotion in the beginning will close much of that gap.
In the assimilation stage, you are debugging that manifestation. You are seeing what gap there still is, and closing it more and more.
You see, those egoic emotions are really just a sign of how large that gap really is. When something is unbelievable to you, or at least difficult to believe, you feel even more excited about it.
Once it feels within reach, then it feels more ordinary, since you have closed much of that gap, even if you are not totally there yet.
So, you are sabotaging your manifestations when you don’t allow this gap to close, and for the goal to feel more ordinary. You must realize that this is actually a good sign, because it means that you are that much closer to the complete manifestation of your goal.
When you allow your desire to become ordinary to you, you are essentially saying, “This is normal for me. It’s believable, and even easy.” Isn’t that what you want?
In other words, this next level goal has become a current level goal, or at least is well on its way to doing so.
Do You Have Next-Big-Thing Syndrome?
Part of the reason this is so difficult for some is because they are addicted to that excitement. It’s a temporary high that makes them feel good for the moment. However, when the excitement naturally dies down, they need to find another way of manufacturing it—usually by either faking it with their current goal, or pursuing yet another goal to get that sense of excitement back.
This is part of the flaw with many law of attraction teachings focusing so much on trying to feel good all the time just trains you to always expect that egoic sense of excitement and pleasure. When it goes away, you think that something is wrong, and you pursue that next big thing to get it back.
Many are almost afraid of the ordinary. The ordinary almost seems to be bad, or boring at the least. But it doesn’t need to be, at all. It just means it is the norm. And the norm feels, well, normal.
You’re going to have highs and lows in life, with simple ordinary life in the middle. Your sense of what is ordinary will certainly increase, but it will always feel ordinary.
Maybe right now, your sense of ordinary is making $30,000 a year. In 5 years, your “ordinary” might be making $100,000, or more. But, it will be ordinary, no doubt about it.
Enjoy those moments of ordinary between those “next big things”. When you try to just pursue the “next big thing”, you are constantly pursuing, without ever reaching it. You don’t put forth that ordinary-feeling energy to actually achieve the next big thing, and make it not so big to you anymore. That is what is required.
How to Embrace the Ordinary and Stop Sabotaging Your Manifestations
Have you been suffering from next-big-thing syndrome? If so, stop and ask yourself what it is you really want in life, right now, beneath that sense of excitement that you crave.
Look at your life a year from now, or even several years from now. What do you want “ordinary” to look like? Are you making more money? Are you living in a different house? Are you in a new (or different) relationship?
Look beyond the egoic emotions that first arise when you think of this goal, and ask yourself whether this is the kind of life you’d like to lead day-after-day. Are you in it for the goal itself, or just because of the excitement that the goal offers you right now? Can you commit yourself to that goal, even when the energy of that desire matures into the deeper spiritual emotions and it starts to feel normal?
If so, then it is a great goal to pursue. Allow yourself to feel excited right now, if that’s what is natural.
But, as you close the gap to that goal, allow yourself to move with the flow of the energy of that desire, as it begins to feel more ordinary, and therefore more possible. See yourself living that goal every day. Your subconscious mind will start taking on those images as its new normal, and you’ll quickly find yourself moving towards your goal.
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Have you embraced the ordinariness of your own desires? Or, have you been falling into the trap of the next-big-thing syndrome, and sabotaging your manifestations as a result? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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Yeap, I’m pretty sure now that this was one of the things I was doing wrong when focusing on my goals. Last night I started journaling, and I felt the difference. I was simply writing what was going on in my imaginary life, and emotions would spontaneously arise, without me kicking them up artificially.
I feel that what you wrote in this article is very important, yet so easy to miss, so thank you a lot!
Thanks, Z! Yeah it’s something a lot of people miss, unfortunately.
All of this should feel very natural. If it doesn’t, the Universe will be able to tell.
Hi Brandon,
Yes, this is the next logical step Abraham talks about. I also commented on this topic in the support call section where we are still able to comment. If you can check those out, it would be great.
Sorry, Kat. I forgot to subscribe to that thread. I’ve replied now. 🙂
I really enjoyed this post! I definitely agree with you that once the initial excitement of your desire dies down many people (myself included) think this means something is wrong so we try to repeatedly fake and force the emotions which is exhausting.
Thanks Natasha. I think it’s an area of the manifestation process that needed to be discussed. 🙂 And I agree it is definitely exhausting when you try to go against the flow and manufacture those emotions.
I’m so glad that you discussed it because I have to admit I thought we were supposed to feel tons of positive emotion around our goal all the time so I am definitely guilty of faking and manufacturing it. I feel a a sense of relief now that I know I can let my desires feel natural and normal to me. You’re really good at explaining things. I liked all the analogies you use and the example of someone making their first million versus regularly making millions.
Thanks. 🙂 I appreciate your comments, and I’m so glad the post was able to clarify things for you.
Faking is never the way to go with these things. The Universe sees right through it, and it means that something within us is out of alignment.
Yeap, I’m pretty sure now that this was one of the things I was doing wrong when focusing on my goals. Last night I started journaling, and I felt the difference. I was simply writing what was going on in my imaginary life, and emotions would spontaneously arise, without me kicking them up artificially.
I feel that what you wrote in this article is very important, yet so easy to miss, so thank you a lot!
Thanks, Z! Yeah it’s something a lot of people miss, unfortunately.
All of this should feel very natural. If it doesn’t, the Universe will be able to tell.
Very interesting. The idea of spiritual emotions and egoic emotions is new to me, and the airplane analogy was helpful. Thank you.
Hi Jacob,
I’m so glad the post was helpful to you. It is definitely a new concept for many, but very important.
Opppss!!! I didn’t know
” It starts getting harder to feel excited about your desire. And so you try to force it. And you might even worry that perhaps you don’t even want this desire anymore”
Most of us feel this way. I thought it must be me because I am going through hectic and stressful time currently. Whatever I was excited about couple of months back feels kind of no big deal and like let it happen whenever and however.
I think about it everyday and feel ok. Neither feel so so excited nor bad. But yes i do have doubt sometimes whether that’s what I want. But I do think about it.
Brandon thank you so much for explaining it very well. Sometimes it’s hard to understand what’s normal and what’s not. And you have already said that just thinking about your goal few minutes a day is enough. As long as you feel good about it. I am so glad to know whatever I am feeling is the part of the process. You exactly know where most of the people struggle and what they are doing wrong. Thank you for the wonderful insight.
Hi Brandon,
Yes, this is the next logical step Abraham talks about. I also commented on this topic in the support call section where we are still able to comment. If you can check those out, it would be great.
Sorry, Kat. I forgot to subscribe to that thread. I’ve replied now. 🙂
I really enjoyed this post! I definitely agree with you that once the initial excitement of your desire dies down many people (myself included) think this means something is wrong so we try to repeatedly fake and force the emotions which is exhausting.
Thanks Natasha. I think it’s an area of the manifestation process that needed to be discussed. 🙂 And I agree it is definitely exhausting when you try to go against the flow and manufacture those emotions.
I’m so glad that you discussed it because I have to admit I thought we were supposed to feel tons of positive emotion around our goal all the time so I am definitely guilty of faking and manufacturing it. I feel a a sense of relief now that I know I can let my desires feel natural and normal to me. You’re really good at explaining things. I liked all the analogies you use and the example of someone making their first million versus regularly making millions.
Thanks. 🙂 I appreciate your comments, and I’m so glad the post was able to clarify things for you.
Faking is never the way to go with these things. The Universe sees right through it, and it means that something within us is out of alignment.
Very interesting. The idea of spiritual emotions and egoic emotions is new to me, and the airplane analogy was helpful. Thank you.
Hi Jacob,
I’m so glad the post was helpful to you. It is definitely a new concept for many, but very important.
Opppss!!! I didn’t know
” It starts getting harder to feel excited about your desire. And so you try to force it. And you might even worry that perhaps you don’t even want this desire anymore”
Most of us feel this way. I thought it must be me because I am going through hectic and stressful time currently. Whatever I was excited about couple of months back feels kind of no big deal and like let it happen whenever and however.
I think about it everyday and feel ok. Neither feel so so excited nor bad. But yes i do have doubt sometimes whether that’s what I want. But I do think about it.
Brandon thank you so much for explaining it very well. Sometimes it’s hard to understand what’s normal and what’s not. And you have already said that just thinking about your goal few minutes a day is enough. As long as you feel good about it. I am so glad to know whatever I am feeling is the part of the process. You exactly know where most of the people struggle and what they are doing wrong. Thank you for the wonderful insight.
B, My work situation keeps failing, despite having the right attitude and a skill set which is extremely advanced. What does that mean?
Hi CJ,
What do you mean by “failing”?
I’d say it means that you have something in your subconscious mind that is sabotaging your work situation. It’s likely you already know what that is, or can discover it pretty easily. What is the theme around why things keep failing?
The theme is that a few people are amazed by what I do, and the remainder are either threatened/angry or they block and ignore me. But I never expected that. I expected people would be “WOW! AMAZING!”, but such people are maybe 1 in 10.
People say they want something… I do it… then they are shocked because they didn’t really want it, nor expect that it was possible. It’s like they have no idea of their own minds. So many people are terrified of their minds.
You have to not point to the outside so much, and ask why you are creating this.
It sounds like the common denominator is that you aren’t being respected for your work. Is that right? Without pointing to others, why do you think that might be? What are you holding within yourself that is creating this reality?
Yes.
Why would I do that? Could be a recurrence of an early memory which is manifesting, I guess.
But I could ask you about LoA and why 95% of the world would reject what is written on these pages. Is it them or you making this happen?
Hi CJ,
I can’t create in their reality, so it is definitely them. I’ve used the analogy before of the Allegory of the Cave. Most people are asleep, only seeing illusion. It takes a lot of development to really start to look within and take ownership of one’s life.
B, My work situation keeps failing, despite having the right attitude and a skill set which is extremely advanced. What does that mean?
Hi CJ,
What do you mean by “failing”?
I’d say it means that you have something in your subconscious mind that is sabotaging your work situation. It’s likely you already know what that is, or can discover it pretty easily. What is the theme around why things keep failing?
The theme is that a few people are amazed by what I do, and the remainder are either threatened/angry or they block and ignore me. But I never expected that. I expected people would be “WOW! AMAZING!”, but such people are maybe 1 in 10.
People say they want something… I do it… then they are shocked because they didn’t really want it, nor expect that it was possible. It’s like they have no idea of their own minds. So many people are terrified of their minds.
You have to not point to the outside so much, and ask why you are creating this.
It sounds like the common denominator is that you aren’t being respected for your work. Is that right? Without pointing to others, why do you think that might be? What are you holding within yourself that is creating this reality?
Yes.
Why would I do that? Could be a recurrence of an early memory which is manifesting, I guess.
But I could ask you about LoA and why 95% of the world would reject what is written on these pages. Is it them or you making this happen?
Hi CJ,
I can’t create in their reality, so it is definitely them. I’ve used the analogy before of the Allegory of the Cave. Most people are asleep, only seeing illusion. It takes a lot of development to really start to look within and take ownership of one’s life.
After a really long time, I have blockage in my digestion. I ate, but the food isn’t moving, it isn’t getting digested. I just keep feeling a lot of expansion in my stomach, like it will explode. There were many times in the past where I would eat something in the morning, and I would feel like this. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything more for the rest of the day. And then finally in the evening I would get a strong urge to throw up, and the breakfast would still be there! I feel as if there’s a huge knot in my stomach. How would you explain this energetically, I wonder?
Hi Z,
Have you gotten this checked out medically? It sounds pretty serious.
Energetically, I’d say perhaps you are not letting go, allowing things to pass through as they should. Clinging on to things, so to speak.
But that sounds like a pretty serious medical issue, so I wouldn’t mess around with it.
I was examined by many doctors in the past, and none of them could really help me. Every medicine made things worse, and none of the procedures discovered something specifically. They only said that I probably have inflamed colon, but it was never proven, since the procedure was too painful. Every medicine I took for treating that made me feel even worse. I haven’t been taking any medicine for almost 2 years now. However I wouldn’t link this digestion problem to that. This is really random, so I would say that it most likely has to do with not letting go.
The only thing that comes to mind is that I just can’t let myself fail more exams, because I just can’t lose this college, and friends here. I am so behind with exams, and there’s pressure. I try to take it as easily as I can. I unwind before sleep, and I take it easy in the morning. However yeah there’s a big fear of losing everything, and I simply can’t allow that. Another thing that keeps popping up is regret for not having studied enough and passed exams in time. I always remind myself that it’s just energy, and I do my best to allow it. But I guess that probably these 2 things are affecting me in a huge way right now.
Hi Z,
When you say “can’t”, you are giving focus and power to the thing you say you “can’t” let happen, and so it is more likely to happen. Try to change your language on that point. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you don’t want to happen.
Letting go is a hard one, I know.
Thanks for reminding me. I got lost again in trying to ward off the unwanted, instead of focusing on how great it will be when everything’s complete.
Though I have to say that I just don’t understand why my body doesn’t already return to the state where it isn’t affected much (or at all) by stress. It used to be like that long ago. I’ve released a lot since then, and improved in many areas. Still, extreme symptoms occur. Many people at my college are stressed out because of exams, but they do just fine. They pass everything, and their health seams to be more or less okay. Why is it so different with me still? Is my body permanently damaged, or what? Will I ever be able to return to the state of not being physically affected by stress in such extreme ways? :/
I would say it’s just built up resistance. The healing process can take a while. Try not to compare yourself, or get frustrated about it.
Hey Brandon,
Sorry I couldn’t make it to your call as the past few days have been super busy for me.
My next step goals are feeling really…kind of blah and neutral if that makes sense. At first they made me feel really happy, but now they just feel ordinary and I’m not very excited about them. It’s not that I no longer want them, they are just feeling more normal to me.
I have noticed that what you’re saying is true though. By the time I usually receive something I want, it feels normal and ordinary. The initial excitement is no longer there, although I am still happy in a calmer way about having it.
I’m a little worried because I haven’t been feeling inspired to take much action towards my next level goals yet. Should I just keep visualizing them daily? Because they feel quite bland, it’s become kind of difficult to focus for 5 minutes on each of them every day.
Hi R,
Well what you are saying sounds a bit different from what I covered in this post. Your goals should definitely not feel bland or “blah”. Normal, ordinary, yes. But not neutral or bland. There’s a difference there. The goal is still positive and something you want, but it’s just more ordinary than super exciting.
So I’d ask you, are you sure you want these goals? Is it the same for you whether you get them or not? Why are you pursuing these goals?
Hi Brandon,
I think I made how I feel sound a lot worse than I actually do. I still want these goals, they just don’t give me a high anymore. When I say neutral, I mean good, but not super exciting, buzzing off the wall happy. Like a settled feeling. These are things I’ve wanted for a long time, but now that I visualize them daily and spend more conscious time with them, they don’t seem to have the same oomph as when they were untraceable. They feel positive, but more normal than “wow, amazing!” I used to spend a lot of time chasing after feelings of excitement and high energy.
Would you be able to clarify: “Is it the same for you whether you get them or not?”
Okay, that’s good, then. 🙂 I was just wary of the description of “bland”. The goal should never be bland. If that is the case, it can signify an over-focus on that goal.
What I meant is is it the same to you whether you get your goal or not? Some people say this is a good thing, but I don’t think it is. It is unreasonable to try to get to a point of ambivalence regarding your goals. I mean if you did, it would no longer be a desire, and there would be no creative energy flowing towards that goal.
The best attitude is one of desire and choosing to have the goal, but not needing it or obsessing over it. It’s a pretty fine line, but an absolutely vital one.
I would be very upset (really, extremely upset) if I didn’t get my desires. I still want them, but since I’ve been visualizing them daily, I feel like my mind has put them on the back burner. I don’t feel obsessed with them anymore, and it’s because I fear that this lack of focus and excitement will prevent me from obtaining them.
Now my mind I coming up with other goals that I would like to experience further down the line. They feel exciting to me, but less real.
Hi R,
It’s completely normal that your mind does this. Don’t worry about that at all. I wouldn’t say it’s on the back burner, only that it’s become more normal to you, so you don’t have to put so much energy into it.
I would leave those latter goals until you’re further along with these. If you want to take one of the goals in the germination stage (exciting stage), then that’s fine, but you don’t want to totally let up on these normal-feeling goals.
Hey again Brandon,
I remember reading an old post of yours about using the detachment method to manifest. Do you think that there certain goals that are better to detach from and others to focus on actively using daily visualization?
Hi R,
It’s two separate parts of the process. You need to detach from needing the goal, which is why resistance arises. But you also need to actively focus on the having of your desire. Just detaching on its own will work for current level goals, but it will not generate enough energy to work for next level goals.
I don’t mean to say that one way is correct and another is wrong, but personally I have had quite a few experiences where I manifested big things (they definitely did not feel like current level goals) when I forgot about them or was just not actively focusing on them everyday. I have also manifested big desires while focusing on them frequently, but was not taking action towards them and wasn’t deliberately visualizing them (I would daydream about them, but it wasn’t structured or something I did even everyday). It seems that there are different methods of manifesting that work, and that the different methods suit different people and desires differently. Even when I’ve been coached by LOA coaches, they have told me to use different techniques on different desires. Many told me just to focus on the next step and not worry too much about rigid goals, just have fun, act from inspiration and allow things to line up.
Hi R,
I would guess that when you just forgot about them, it was after a period of inner work on that goal. Then you did indeed make the changes within yourself, and the goal became current level.
As for visualizing, it doesn’t have to be structured or anything. I’ve mentioned before that I often visualize my goals for 2 minutes or less while getting ready for bed. I think a lot of people see this as a very structured process, but it’s really not.
Yes of course there are various techniques, but it’s also a science, at least how I see it. So the principles should hold up no matter what.
Which is why I say that these are two parts of the same process. Once you’ve done the inner work, you can let it go and it’ll happen. But if you haven’t done that inner work, then you just won’t be ready for that step, and it’ll feel like you’re trying to let go. That’s usually a pretty good indicator that you aren’t ready for that step.
Thank you for clarifying Brandon! 🙂 When those deeply desired manifestations came into my life, I hadn’t been doing any conscious inner work towards them. I was just going about enjoying my life and following what felt good to me (for the most part. 😉 One of my goals now, one that feels particularly normal, I feel more and more led to let go of. Earlier today when I was visualizing, I inspired to just “let it go to the Universe”. I still am going to focus on it but be lighter about it.
For my other goal, I have been getting frustrated about making it happen, not getting distracted, and getting everything done in time. For this one, I feel I need to be more open and less stressed about it, trusting that if I’m taking steps towards it and working on it daily, then I’m doing what I need to be. I feel really led to loosen up on how rigid I’ve been about music practice and working on my songs I want to finish.
Hi R,
The goal that you’ve been able to let go of easily, I’d consider a current level goal, or at least close to. Your subconscious structures are so close to where they need to be that you can relax the rest of the way.
The other goal that is more frustrating requires more inner work. That’s the next level goal I speak of. You can try to let go but it is difficult right now, because your subconscious mind doesn’t believe this is possible right now.
Hi Brandon,
I didn’t expect that you would consider my first level goal to be current level. It still feels like a stretch for me. Even though I can let go of it to a degree, I’m going to keep focusing on it, albeit to a lesser extent than my other goal that definitely needs more focus.
Is it normal to doubt your goals as you focus on them? During my visualizations, doubts sometimes arise. I acknowledge them briefly and then go back to focusing on the outcome I desire, often using positive “what if?” questions to realign with the higher frequency.
Hi R,
It’s a spectrum. It is more of a current level than the other. Perhaps not quite yet, but definitely on its way there from the sound of it. Your own energy will tell you how you need to treat it. If you still have trouble letting go, then keep focusing. If it’s getting easy and you don’t feel like you have to focus on it so much anymore, then follow that intuitive flow and just go with it.
Yes, it’s perfectly normal to have doubts. That’s resistance. I’d be concerned if you weren’t. 🙂
I’m also going to answer your other questions you posted in the past life post:
Yes, always focus on what it is you want, even if that changes.
Yes I feel that you are stuck.
But why does it have to be hard? That’s your belief, but does that have to be true? Money has become very easy for me, and it’s fun. 🙂
Why are these unexpected ways inaccessible to you?
What would it be like if money could flow easily to you? Can you just put yourself in that situationn?
I recommend my course, Effortless Money Manifestation. It tackles all of these issues and how to increase the flow of abundance.
I also wanted to add that I’ve been doing a lot of research to find ways to make money that don’t involve too much pain, but none of them have been working out. Either I don’t have the right equipment, cannot access them easily, involve making big compromises that I really do not want to make, or I’m in some other way ineligible for them. I feel like I keep hitting dead ends, but I am doing what I’m supposed to be (taking steps towards my desire, doing my part).
Sometimes I feel like my goals are too big and maybe I should scale them down. They can feel very overwhelming and stressful. I have really wanted them for a very long time though. The second goal in particular is stressing me out as I spend more time taking action on it. There’s a lot more hard work involved than I had anticipated.
I plan on scheduling a coaching session with you soon. My goals feel quite overwhelming and I definitely need support with this process.
On the totally practical side, have you checked out Amazon Mechanical Turk? It’s a fun way of making some extra money, which isn’t too hard.
Okay, that’s exactly it. You feel like you’ve been hitting dead ends. Stop giving attention and focus to that feeling. It’s feedback, not a problem.
Don’t see your resistance as problems. See your resistance as feedback. In NLP we say, “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.”
It’s feedback, telling you what you’re focusing on. So—and not to trivialize it—but stop doing that. 🙂
I look forward to the coaching session. I’m happy to help in any way I can.
Thank you for your helpful tips Brandon. 🙂 I’m not sure exactly when I’ll schedule a session as I want to save a little more first, but I would definitely love to speak with you sooner than later.
Yes, I know MTurk! 🙂 I did it a few years ago for a few months for some extra money for a trip. It was very easy, and I made more than I expected! Unfortunately, my account had been suspended (Amazon wouldn’t tell me why) and when I asked about how to reactivate my account, the customer service advisor told that I cannot. I tried on several occasions to make new accounts with different email addresses, but each time I received notice that my accounts were not approved. What a shame, because it was such an easy and convenient way to make money.
Last night before I had fallen asleep, I had received a few new insights related to my desires. It seems that more specific details are beginning to fill in. Some possible how’s to fulfill my goals really scare me right now, but I will keep focusing on them while visualizing as well as stay open to other ideas that may come in the near future.
Hi R,
Sorry to hear about MTurk. That’s odd.
I’m so glad you received some more insights. The details will gradually fill themselves in. Don’t try to rush things, and it’ll come very easily. 🙂
You might find a few of the topics in the support call this week interesting.
After a really long time, I have blockage in my digestion. I ate, but the food isn’t moving, it isn’t getting digested. I just keep feeling a lot of expansion in my stomach, like it will explode. There were many times in the past where I would eat something in the morning, and I would feel like this. I wouldn’t be able to eat anything more for the rest of the day. And then finally in the evening I would get a strong urge to throw up, and the breakfast would still be there! I feel as if there’s a huge knot in my stomach. How would you explain this energetically, I wonder?
Hi Z,
Have you gotten this checked out medically? It sounds pretty serious.
Energetically, I’d say perhaps you are not letting go, allowing things to pass through as they should. Clinging on to things, so to speak.
But that sounds like a pretty serious medical issue, so I wouldn’t mess around with it.
I was examined by many doctors in the past, and none of them could really help me. Every medicine made things worse, and none of the procedures discovered something specifically. They only said that I probably have inflamed colon, but it was never proven, since the procedure was too painful. Every medicine I took for treating that made me feel even worse. I haven’t been taking any medicine for almost 2 years now. However I wouldn’t link this digestion problem to that. This is really random, so I would say that it most likely has to do with not letting go.
The only thing that comes to mind is that I just can’t let myself fail more exams, because I just can’t lose this college, and friends here. I am so behind with exams, and there’s pressure. I try to take it as easily as I can. I unwind before sleep, and I take it easy in the morning. However yeah there’s a big fear of losing everything, and I simply can’t allow that. Another thing that keeps popping up is regret for not having studied enough and passed exams in time. I always remind myself that it’s just energy, and I do my best to allow it. But I guess that probably these 2 things are affecting me in a huge way right now.
Hi Z,
When you say “can’t”, you are giving focus and power to the thing you say you “can’t” let happen, and so it is more likely to happen. Try to change your language on that point. Focus on what you want to happen, not on what you don’t want to happen.
Letting go is a hard one, I know.
Thanks for reminding me. I got lost again in trying to ward off the unwanted, instead of focusing on how great it will be when everything’s complete.
Though I have to say that I just don’t understand why my body doesn’t already return to the state where it isn’t affected much (or at all) by stress. It used to be like that long ago. I’ve released a lot since then, and improved in many areas. Still, extreme symptoms occur. Many people at my college are stressed out because of exams, but they do just fine. They pass everything, and their health seams to be more or less okay. Why is it so different with me still? Is my body permanently damaged, or what? Will I ever be able to return to the state of not being physically affected by stress in such extreme ways? :/
I would say it’s just built up resistance. The healing process can take a while. Try not to compare yourself, or get frustrated about it.
Brandon, when you do tapping, do you do only both sides (right and left), or just one? Is just one enough to release the energy?
Hi Z,
I no longer do tapping. But you just do one side. It is not necessary to do both.
Hey Brandon,
Sorry I couldn’t make it to your call as the past few days have been super busy for me.
My next step goals are feeling really…kind of blah and neutral if that makes sense. At first they made me feel really happy, but now they just feel ordinary and I’m not very excited about them. It’s not that I no longer want them, they are just feeling more normal to me.
I have noticed that what you’re saying is true though. By the time I usually receive something I want, it feels normal and ordinary. The initial excitement is no longer there, although I am still happy in a calmer way about having it.
I’m a little worried because I haven’t been feeling inspired to take much action towards my next level goals yet. Should I just keep visualizing them daily? Because they feel quite bland, it’s become kind of difficult to focus for 5 minutes on each of them every day.
Hi R,
Well what you are saying sounds a bit different from what I covered in this post. Your goals should definitely not feel bland or “blah”. Normal, ordinary, yes. But not neutral or bland. There’s a difference there. The goal is still positive and something you want, but it’s just more ordinary than super exciting.
So I’d ask you, are you sure you want these goals? Is it the same for you whether you get them or not? Why are you pursuing these goals?
Hi Brandon,
I think I made how I feel sound a lot worse than I actually do. I still want these goals, they just don’t give me a high anymore. When I say neutral, I mean good, but not super exciting, buzzing off the wall happy. Like a settled feeling. These are things I’ve wanted for a long time, but now that I visualize them daily and spend more conscious time with them, they don’t seem to have the same oomph as when they were untraceable. They feel positive, but more normal than “wow, amazing!” I used to spend a lot of time chasing after feelings of excitement and high energy.
Would you be able to clarify: “Is it the same for you whether you get them or not?”
Okay, that’s good, then. 🙂 I was just wary of the description of “bland”. The goal should never be bland. If that is the case, it can signify an over-focus on that goal.
What I meant is is it the same to you whether you get your goal or not? Some people say this is a good thing, but I don’t think it is. It is unreasonable to try to get to a point of ambivalence regarding your goals. I mean if you did, it would no longer be a desire, and there would be no creative energy flowing towards that goal.
The best attitude is one of desire and choosing to have the goal, but not needing it or obsessing over it. It’s a pretty fine line, but an absolutely vital one.
I would be very upset (really, extremely upset) if I didn’t get my desires. I still want them, but since I’ve been visualizing them daily, I feel like my mind has put them on the back burner. I don’t feel obsessed with them anymore, and it’s because I fear that this lack of focus and excitement will prevent me from obtaining them.
Now my mind I coming up with other goals that I would like to experience further down the line. They feel exciting to me, but less real.
Hi R,
It’s completely normal that your mind does this. Don’t worry about that at all. I wouldn’t say it’s on the back burner, only that it’s become more normal to you, so you don’t have to put so much energy into it.
I would leave those latter goals until you’re further along with these. If you want to take one of the goals in the germination stage (exciting stage), then that’s fine, but you don’t want to totally let up on these normal-feeling goals.
Hey again Brandon,
I remember reading an old post of yours about using the detachment method to manifest. Do you think that there certain goals that are better to detach from and others to focus on actively using daily visualization?
Hi R,
It’s two separate parts of the process. You need to detach from needing the goal, which is why resistance arises. But you also need to actively focus on the having of your desire. Just detaching on its own will work for current level goals, but it will not generate enough energy to work for next level goals.
I don’t mean to say that one way is correct and another is wrong, but personally I have had quite a few experiences where I manifested big things (they definitely did not feel like current level goals) when I forgot about them or was just not actively focusing on them everyday. I have also manifested big desires while focusing on them frequently, but was not taking action towards them and wasn’t deliberately visualizing them (I would daydream about them, but it wasn’t structured or something I did even everyday). It seems that there are different methods of manifesting that work, and that the different methods suit different people and desires differently. Even when I’ve been coached by LOA coaches, they have told me to use different techniques on different desires. Many told me just to focus on the next step and not worry too much about rigid goals, just have fun, act from inspiration and allow things to line up.
Hi R,
I would guess that when you just forgot about them, it was after a period of inner work on that goal. Then you did indeed make the changes within yourself, and the goal became current level.
As for visualizing, it doesn’t have to be structured or anything. I’ve mentioned before that I often visualize my goals for 2 minutes or less while getting ready for bed. I think a lot of people see this as a very structured process, but it’s really not.
Yes of course there are various techniques, but it’s also a science, at least how I see it. So the principles should hold up no matter what.
Which is why I say that these are two parts of the same process. Once you’ve done the inner work, you can let it go and it’ll happen. But if you haven’t done that inner work, then you just won’t be ready for that step, and it’ll feel like you’re trying to let go. That’s usually a pretty good indicator that you aren’t ready for that step.
Thank you for clarifying Brandon! 🙂 When those deeply desired manifestations came into my life, I hadn’t been doing any conscious inner work towards them. I was just going about enjoying my life and following what felt good to me (for the most part. 😉 One of my goals now, one that feels particularly normal, I feel more and more led to let go of. Earlier today when I was visualizing, I inspired to just “let it go to the Universe”. I still am going to focus on it but be lighter about it.
For my other goal, I have been getting frustrated about making it happen, not getting distracted, and getting everything done in time. For this one, I feel I need to be more open and less stressed about it, trusting that if I’m taking steps towards it and working on it daily, then I’m doing what I need to be. I feel really led to loosen up on how rigid I’ve been about music practice and working on my songs I want to finish.
Hi R,
The goal that you’ve been able to let go of easily, I’d consider a current level goal, or at least close to. Your subconscious structures are so close to where they need to be that you can relax the rest of the way.
The other goal that is more frustrating requires more inner work. That’s the next level goal I speak of. You can try to let go but it is difficult right now, because your subconscious mind doesn’t believe this is possible right now.
Hi Brandon,
I didn’t expect that you would consider my first level goal to be current level. It still feels like a stretch for me. Even though I can let go of it to a degree, I’m going to keep focusing on it, albeit to a lesser extent than my other goal that definitely needs more focus.
Is it normal to doubt your goals as you focus on them? During my visualizations, doubts sometimes arise. I acknowledge them briefly and then go back to focusing on the outcome I desire, often using positive “what if?” questions to realign with the higher frequency.
Hi R,
It’s a spectrum. It is more of a current level than the other. Perhaps not quite yet, but definitely on its way there from the sound of it. Your own energy will tell you how you need to treat it. If you still have trouble letting go, then keep focusing. If it’s getting easy and you don’t feel like you have to focus on it so much anymore, then follow that intuitive flow and just go with it.
Yes, it’s perfectly normal to have doubts. That’s resistance. I’d be concerned if you weren’t. 🙂
I’m also going to answer your other questions you posted in the past life post:
Yes, always focus on what it is you want, even if that changes.
Yes I feel that you are stuck.
But why does it have to be hard? That’s your belief, but does that have to be true? Money has become very easy for me, and it’s fun. 🙂
Why are these unexpected ways inaccessible to you?
What would it be like if money could flow easily to you? Can you just put yourself in that situationn?
I recommend my course, Effortless Money Manifestation. It tackles all of these issues and how to increase the flow of abundance.
I also wanted to add that I’ve been doing a lot of research to find ways to make money that don’t involve too much pain, but none of them have been working out. Either I don’t have the right equipment, cannot access them easily, involve making big compromises that I really do not want to make, or I’m in some other way ineligible for them. I feel like I keep hitting dead ends, but I am doing what I’m supposed to be (taking steps towards my desire, doing my part).
Sometimes I feel like my goals are too big and maybe I should scale them down. They can feel very overwhelming and stressful. I have really wanted them for a very long time though. The second goal in particular is stressing me out as I spend more time taking action on it. There’s a lot more hard work involved than I had anticipated.
I plan on scheduling a coaching session with you soon. My goals feel quite overwhelming and I definitely need support with this process.
On the totally practical side, have you checked out Amazon Mechanical Turk? It’s a fun way of making some extra money, which isn’t too hard.
Okay, that’s exactly it. You feel like you’ve been hitting dead ends. Stop giving attention and focus to that feeling. It’s feedback, not a problem.
Don’t see your resistance as problems. See your resistance as feedback. In NLP we say, “There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.”
It’s feedback, telling you what you’re focusing on. So—and not to trivialize it—but stop doing that. 🙂
I look forward to the coaching session. I’m happy to help in any way I can.
Thank you for your helpful tips Brandon. 🙂 I’m not sure exactly when I’ll schedule a session as I want to save a little more first, but I would definitely love to speak with you sooner than later.
Yes, I know MTurk! 🙂 I did it a few years ago for a few months for some extra money for a trip. It was very easy, and I made more than I expected! Unfortunately, my account had been suspended (Amazon wouldn’t tell me why) and when I asked about how to reactivate my account, the customer service advisor told that I cannot. I tried on several occasions to make new accounts with different email addresses, but each time I received notice that my accounts were not approved. What a shame, because it was such an easy and convenient way to make money.
Last night before I had fallen asleep, I had received a few new insights related to my desires. It seems that more specific details are beginning to fill in. Some possible how’s to fulfill my goals really scare me right now, but I will keep focusing on them while visualizing as well as stay open to other ideas that may come in the near future.
Hi R,
Sorry to hear about MTurk. That’s odd.
I’m so glad you received some more insights. The details will gradually fill themselves in. Don’t try to rush things, and it’ll come very easily. 🙂
You might find a few of the topics in the support call this week interesting.
Brandon, when you do tapping, do you do only both sides (right and left), or just one? Is just one enough to release the energy?
Hi Z,
I no longer do tapping. But you just do one side. It is not necessary to do both.
R, the word I think of is satisfied. You goal should be satisfying when you get it, normal, but as if it is fulfilling or satisfying. Kind of like the feeling you get after eating just the right amount after a meal.
Justin
Exactly right. Great explanation Justin!
R, sometimes, the subconscious is doing work without you being aware of it. When you discover a revelation related to your goal, or other times about something similar, that can change your inner-landscape to meet your manifestation. Other times, you’ve got more work than you can do by just letting go. I’m more successful with staying in contact with the goal, but I also meditate every day. I work on letting resistance go, faith, and trust. I’ve found that faith and trust will really help, knowing that the universe either helping you, or sending you messages really helps me in my process.
Justin
Hi Justin,
Only now have I noticed your comment, so thank you for taking the time to write it! 🙂
I feel the same way. A few days ago I was feeling more aligned with my first goal (moving), but now the doubts have crept back in again. I’ve been spending a few minutes everyday visualizing/meditating on my next level goals, including this one. It feels better to keep them in focus, even this one which I have a little more trust in sometimes. Over the past few days I’ve had some (minor) insights and sucessses related to my goals, so it is nice to see that this process is beginning to create tangible results.
R, the word I think of is satisfied. You goal should be satisfying when you get it, normal, but as if it is fulfilling or satisfying. Kind of like the feeling you get after eating just the right amount after a meal.
Justin
Exactly right. Great explanation Justin!
R, sometimes, the subconscious is doing work without you being aware of it. When you discover a revelation related to your goal, or other times about something similar, that can change your inner-landscape to meet your manifestation. Other times, you’ve got more work than you can do by just letting go. I’m more successful with staying in contact with the goal, but I also meditate every day. I work on letting resistance go, faith, and trust. I’ve found that faith and trust will really help, knowing that the universe either helping you, or sending you messages really helps me in my process.
Justin
Hi Justin,
Only now have I noticed your comment, so thank you for taking the time to write it! 🙂
I feel the same way. A few days ago I was feeling more aligned with my first goal (moving), but now the doubts have crept back in again. I’ve been spending a few minutes everyday visualizing/meditating on my next level goals, including this one. It feels better to keep them in focus, even this one which I have a little more trust in sometimes. Over the past few days I’ve had some (minor) insights and sucessses related to my goals, so it is nice to see that this process is beginning to create tangible results.
R, it’s only when you put your focus on a certain goal that you can lock in on what you want exactly from that goal to reach the essence of what you are trying to get from that goal, kind of like panning with a camera, then zooming in. You might see that with more focus and energy, you can achieve an even better goal to fulfill the essence of your desire.
Justin
Hi Justin,
I’m not completely sure if I interpreted your comment correctly, but I thought that we should be specific with our goals as that creates momentum and speeds up the energy. I also thought that with every goal and desire, “this or something better” is implied. At least this is what I’ve been learning from Brandon’s blog. What you are wrote sounds similar to what other teachers say, which seems to me like another method of manifesting. I think both ways work depending on the person and the goal at hand. 🙂
R, it’s only when you put your focus on a certain goal that you can lock in on what you want exactly from that goal to reach the essence of what you are trying to get from that goal, kind of like panning with a camera, then zooming in. You might see that with more focus and energy, you can achieve an even better goal to fulfill the essence of your desire.
Justin
Hi Justin,
I’m not completely sure if I interpreted your comment correctly, but I thought that we should be specific with our goals as that creates momentum and speeds up the energy. I also thought that with every goal and desire, “this or something better” is implied. At least this is what I’ve been learning from Brandon’s blog. What you are wrote sounds similar to what other teachers say, which seems to me like another method of manifesting. I think both ways work depending on the person and the goal at hand. 🙂
R, I was saying to get as specific as you can, while being flexible enough to change with the energy. You asked about changing your goal during the manifestation process, and I’m just saying that if it feels right, then to do so. Sometimes, when you get into the manifestation process and begin fine-tuning your goal, you see what you really want. Go get it.
Choose what you want, and just stay as exact as you can, but not in a rigid way.
Justin
Thank you for clarifying Justin! Now I understand what you’re saying. 🙂
R, I was saying to get as specific as you can, while being flexible enough to change with the energy. You asked about changing your goal during the manifestation process, and I’m just saying that if it feels right, then to do so. Sometimes, when you get into the manifestation process and begin fine-tuning your goal, you see what you really want. Go get it.
Choose what you want, and just stay as exact as you can, but not in a rigid way.
Justin
Thank you for clarifying Justin! Now I understand what you’re saying. 🙂
It’s been about a month since you posted this, so I’m not sure if I’ll get a reply but here’s no shame in trying!
I just found your blog and it really seems to hit a lot of the points other LoA coaches miss. The idea of just detaching from desire from the get go never felt right to me. Getting to a point of normalcy makes more sense! So, I’ve done the whole “getting psyched” portion, dealt with a lot of my limiting beliefs (mostly by detatching from those), and I’ve been using Noctournal Audio Programming at night (interesting method … sort of self-hypnosis with a LoA focus). Now I’ve finally started feeling the deep peace/normalcy that should mean I’m close to manifestation. The problem is that I keep getting slammed with anxiety out of nowhere. “What if this doesn’t work? What if I’m wasting my time? What if …” After the panic attack, I either find my center and feel okay or panic that I have just wrecked ALL my LoA progress and need to start from the top. Is this normal as your ego fights you on things transitioning to a spiritual level?
Initially I had a lot of things change for the better in my life ($10K out of practically nowhere, my university fixed a major oversight in my graduation requirements and now I’m graduating, an opening for the perfect job for me just appeared…) but in terms of my goal, lately it’s just been crickets. There was some small progress initially but not what I ultimately want. I don’t know if the universe is gearing up for delivering something huge, but the silence is difficult. I often feel like what I want is in sight and then it’s like my brain kicks in and says, “But you don’t have it. What if you never do?” =
Hi @Chaucer,
Thanks for commenting. I always receive comments, so no worries there. 🙂
I get it, really. The “what if I never get it” is difficult. And the only way to really combat that is through experience. As you start to get your desires over and over and over again, you start to trust that the Universe really does have your back.
First of all, read this post: How to Increase Your Trust in the Universe
You basically need to shift from seeing this as an egoic need, to seeing it as a want.
My answer to, “What if it doesn’t come,” would be: “Okay, so what if it doesn’t?”
Sometimes you have to make peace with that possibility, just so you can redouble your focus on actually creating this in your life.
Yes, it is very normal. It happened to me for quite a while. But as you are seeing, it’ll hold you back from actually manifesting what you want.
I hope this helps.
Also, remember, the faster you go, the more you might feel resistance. You are going to encounter more of it whne you pick up speed, that might be where the anxiety is coming from.
Justin
Hey,
How do you explain Anxiety/Depression from your perspective and understanding of the subconscious mind/structures etc?
-S
It’s been about a month since you posted this, so I’m not sure if I’ll get a reply but here’s no shame in trying!
I just found your blog and it really seems to hit a lot of the points other LoA coaches miss. The idea of just detaching from desire from the get go never felt right to me. Getting to a point of normalcy makes more sense! So, I’ve done the whole “getting psyched” portion, dealt with a lot of my limiting beliefs (mostly by detatching from those), and I’ve been using Noctournal Audio Programming at night (interesting method … sort of self-hypnosis with a LoA focus). Now I’ve finally started feeling the deep peace/normalcy that should mean I’m close to manifestation. The problem is that I keep getting slammed with anxiety out of nowhere. “What if this doesn’t work? What if I’m wasting my time? What if …” After the panic attack, I either find my center and feel okay or panic that I have just wrecked ALL my LoA progress and need to start from the top. Is this normal as your ego fights you on things transitioning to a spiritual level?
Initially I had a lot of things change for the better in my life ($10K out of practically nowhere, my university fixed a major oversight in my graduation requirements and now I’m graduating, an opening for the perfect job for me just appeared…) but in terms of my goal, lately it’s just been crickets. There was some small progress initially but not what I ultimately want. I don’t know if the universe is gearing up for delivering something huge, but the silence is difficult. I often feel like what I want is in sight and then it’s like my brain kicks in and says, “But you don’t have it. What if you never do?” =\
Hi @Chaucer,
Thanks for commenting. I always receive comments, so no worries there. 🙂
I get it, really. The “what if I never get it” is difficult. And the only way to really combat that is through experience. As you start to get your desires over and over and over again, you start to trust that the Universe really does have your back.
First of all, read this post: How to Increase Your Trust in the Universe
You basically need to shift from seeing this as an egoic need, to seeing it as a want.
My answer to, “What if it doesn’t come,” would be: “Okay, so what if it doesn’t?”
Sometimes you have to make peace with that possibility, just so you can redouble your focus on actually creating this in your life.
Yes, it is very normal. It happened to me for quite a while. But as you are seeing, it’ll hold you back from actually manifesting what you want.
I hope this helps.
Also, remember, the faster you go, the more you might feel resistance. You are going to encounter more of it whne you pick up speed, that might be where the anxiety is coming from.
Justin
Hey,
How do you explain Anxiety/Depression from your perspective and understanding of the subconscious mind/structures etc?
-S
Hello, Brandon! Reread this post again after a long time (I read your blog from the newest article to the oldest, and then go back to top if I feel the pull to do so), and I think I can sort of relate this to my current situation, but I am commenting here to ask a question because I am not quite sure. I met a guy I want to have a relationship with – I finally now truly want a relationship after years of being happy being single – but I apparently met him when I was not quite ready for it so what we had fell apart. I tried my best to release all the pain, heartache, and all the resistance that I could release, and it does seem that he really is someone I want to be with after all that releasing. So what I did was to try to manifest a relationship with him. I have now reached a stage when I am not that reactive anymore to the fallout that we had, and I am also not that reactive anymore when I visualize my goals. I have gotten to the point where I feel quite comfortable not being with him actually, but at times I do have thoughts saying, “What if it doesn’t work?” “What if I am just deluding myself?” “Oh my god, I feel so comfortable not having my goal!” I do want to add momentum to it, but I guess I am just not used to living the life of a deliberate creator, and the comfort sometimes pulls me back from injecting more momentum into my journey towards my goals. At the same time, though, I really want this goal and I now want to finally have my first major success in deliberate creation. Any advice for me?