What would a life living as the true Self look like? What would it mean to totally drop any pretense of identification with the ego?
Would it leave you wandering life aimlessly, or would you live with greater purpose and direction than ever? Would you lose all of your desires, or would they manifest all the more easily?
Most importantly, is such a life within your grasp, or is it only accessible by fully-enlightened masters?
In last Monday’s post, I mentioned the importance of persistence in manifesting your goals. This generated a bit of a discussion on the forum about living from the true Self. I promised I would write a post on that topic, and so, here we are. π
What, Exactly, Is the Ego?
The ego is one of those concepts in new age circles that gets a bad rap, but yet simultaneously remains rather vague and tenuous.
What, precisely, is the ego? Understanding this will help us to get a better grasp on what it means to live as the true Self.
The ego is one thing, and one thing only: it is the belief that you are a separate self.
In spiritual circles, this belief is often demonized. But, it is part of the built-in software of your human consciousness.
Imagine your computer. Your operating system has certain system files that it can’t run without. If you’re not careful, you can sometimes accidentally delete one of these files, and then your system will no longer start up, or will give you some horrible error.
Well, the ego is one of those system files in your human consciousness operating system (HCOS?). Without the ego, you could not be you.
So, it plays a pretty important role.
Occasionally I’ve heard of someone who deliberately tries to kill off the ego. The result is usually not so good. They describe their state as being numb, not caring one way or another what happens in life.
Some of the descriptions can sound sort of like enlightenment, but it’s far from. A state of repressed ego (because ego can never really be killed), is not the same as a state of freedom from identification to ego. I will describe this freedom a bit later.
Ego is that part of you that desires. It has an aim in life. Because of your ego, you get out of bed every morning and go about your day. Because of your ego, you eat and drink to nourish your body and keep it alive. Because of your ego, you make connections with others.
Of course, most things have both positive and negative aspects, but this is simply to say that the ego is not all bad.
Then, Why Avoid the Ego?
All right, so I’ve laid out some of the positive aspects of the ego. So, why all this talk about stepping out of ego consciousness?
When the ego is used incorrectly, it has a great number of negative aspects. This is why so many people talk about ego death, though again outright killing the ego is not actually a desirable result.
The ego is meant to be used as a tool. When properly used as the tool that it is, it is wonderfully useful, in all the ways I described above, plus many more.
However, for the great majority of people, they allow the ego to rule over them. They allow the ego to become the master, instead of being the tool it was meant to be.
I want you to imagine you’re playing a video game. In the game, you choose your character.
Now, you get to dress up the character however you want, give him or her all the qualities you’d like, and so forth.
Throughout the game, the character is going to be met by many different challenges. As the player, sometimes you’ll succeed, and sometimes you’ll fail. But, this is all part of the fun of playing the game. You’d never play it if there was never a chance of you losing. It’d quickly get boring.
Now, imagine instead that you took the character seriously. When the character was in danger, you became extremely anxious for the well-being of the character. You purposely avoided risky situations, because you’re afraid that the character might die or get hurt.
Even more, you imagined danger where there was none at all. You got upset at how the other characters in the game acted, and believed the game should only proceed in the way you wanted it to.
Sound somewhat familiar?
The first example is what living life should look like. You use this ego character to have fun in the world, accomplish your goals, etc. Sometimes you succeed, and sometimes you fail, but it doesn’t stop you from continuing on.
The second example is like one who believes they actually are the ego, and lets it rule over them. They will be terrified of failure. Everything will be seen as a risk. They try to control life, because otherwise they are afraid of what might happen to them.
This is ego out of control.
This also demonstrates why ego death isn’t a viable option. What kind of gamer would say, βI’m not the character!β and just turn off the game? Can you imagine?
As the gamer, you already know you’re not the character. And, that’s the whole fun of it. It feels real, but you realize it is not.
So in life, ego death means the end of the character. But, the character never caused the problems to begin with.
It’s All About Belief
It wasn’t the character that caused the problem, it was your identification with the character. It was your belief that you are the character.
The character was just doing its thing, as it was programmed to do, by you. But then, you acted as though these programs were indisputable and carved in stone.
The fact is, not only are you the player of this game, but you are the programmer, too. You get to set the game dynamics, the qualities of the character, and so much more.
But, you deny your role as programmer when you step in and pretend you’re the character itself. The character doesn’t get choice. It has to act according to the programs given to it.
It is, essentially, to deny yourself free will.
This is why I talk so much about radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is realizing that your programs aren’t carved in stone. They are programs chosen by you, consciously or unconsciously, and can easily be changed.
But they can only be changed if they are not believed in. By giving them the power of your belief, you give them reality. In this game, belief = existence.
So let’s say you have the belief that the only way to make a good living is to get a job that you hate. This is quite a common program in our society, and you see many characters out there living by it.
The thought comes up, βI need to get a job.β But, this thought doesn’t feel very good, because the program comes up with it, βGood-paying jobs are hard. I’m going to hate it.β
Now, you have a choice. You can pretend to be the character, and simply act upon this program. You get a job, and, surprise of surprises, you hate it.
Or, you can be the gamer/programmer, and realize this program isn’t so fun. You’d rather be a character that perhaps can be self-employed and do something he or she loves.
You don’t complain about the existing program. You don’t keep focusing on it, trying to get rid of it.
You simply remove the unwanted program, and replace it with the program you prefer.
Then, as the character, you realize that you have options. You think about what you love to do in life, and find a way to make money from it. And, you are happy with this option.
This is just an example. The point is, you have the choice of what you believe or do not believe. You chose these programs, and the ego will continue to live them out until you change them.
Living as the True Self
Now, with all of that in place, what does it mean to live as the true Self?
It means to live as the programmer of your own reality. It means to realize that you have a choice in every moment to believe the thoughts coming up, and so to give them reality, or to simply let them go and choose something you’d prefer.
Sometimes we believe that our higher self chose before birth the way this life would go. We think that it selected all the beliefs we would have, and that we’re just stuck with these.
But that’s not the case at all. We came into this life for the express purpose of realizing our non-identity with the ego, and then changing the program as we see fit. There is 100% free will in this.
To live as the true Self means to understand that we are not the ego. It means to use the ego as a tool, and not to allow it to rule over us.
It means to realize our true nature as absolute peace and happiness. We realize that nothing in the game itself could really add to what we already have within, nor could we ever lose what we already are.
As the ego, we can believe in lack. But as the true Self, we realize the perfect peace that we already are, and nothing can threaten this.
I’ve always loved this quote from A Course in Miracles:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.Herein lies the peace of God.
When you realize who you really are, then you can step out of the ego, and use it as the tool it was meant to be.
Learning to Live as the True Self
Now, how do you actually go about doing this?
Again, it is all about belief.
When thoughts arise that bother you, you must realize that these are just the programs you’ve installed at some point in the past. They are not real, unless you believe in them. Your belief makes them real.
Once you remove your belief, you have the option of changing it to a new, preferred thought.
Similarly, when experiences happen in life, you must realize that these do not really mean anything. They are the manifestations of your past programs, which can be changed. Change the programs, and life changes right along with them. Do not, then, give your belief to these unwanted experiences, either.
But all of these programs are built upon a single foundational program: the belief that you are the ego. Remove that belief, and all the rest come tumbling down with it.
So, above all, living as the true Self means realizing that you are not this ego. It means realizing that you are whole and complete already, as you are. You have always been complete.
For this reason, I recommend living life as a witness of your thoughts. Do not engage with them. In particular, do not engage with the unwanted thoughts, as they are the old programs you have set in place in the past.
With positive thoughts, you should still realize that you are separate from them. Affirm and validate them, as a creator might do, but don’t identify with them. Don’t become attached to them. They, too, are only thoughts, and do not represent your true nature as the Self.
As you become the witness, the true Self will begin to shine through. You will come in touch, more and more, with the beauty of the Self. As this happens, the ego will have less and less of a hold over you.
But it all starts with the basic decision to realize that you are not your thoughts. Do this, and the rest will follow.
The great thing about it is that it doesn’t require being an enlightened master. You can make a decision to stop believing in your thoughts day-by-day, moment-by-moment. Sometimes, you will fail, and that’s okay. Ultimately, there is no failure.
But, the more you decide to do this starting today, the happier you will be, because you will be in touch with your true nature. This is the only source of real, lasting happiness.
I’ll be talking a lot more about the various levels of consciousness during the teleclass series beginning this Sunday: The Art of Reality Creation. There some spots open, so be sure to sign up soon. Recordings will be available if you are not able to attend the live event.
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Are you living as the ego, or as the true Self? What would life be like if you could be the programmer of your reality? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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This was really good! I hope you write more in the future, because it is so important, and we are deprogramming ourselves, so we’ll need to read it again. It doesn’t sound that hard to do, though.
I think I can identify with the observer, since, when something happens, bad or good, I feel its presence as smiling at me either way, so that must be it. I always feel smiled upon, so that must be my higher Self. Also, it never utters anything bad, but useful, good simple phrases of no more than a few words or so.
“Similarly, when experiences happen in life, you must realize that these do not really mean anything. They are the manifestations of your past programs, which can be changed. Change the programs, and life changes right along with them. Do not, then, give your belief to these unwanted experiences, either”. The next question that comes up for me after reading this post is about a string of failures. How about if you are in the midst of this? If everyone is pretty much done with you and have no hope for you, the only thing you can do is hold on for the rest of the ride. I think the past programming will dissolve anyway, because you will get tired living in failure. So, a change in attitude will happen on its own, I would say. This is one way to handle it. For example, if you had a sting of bad jobs, you are obviously carrying that program with you, that jobs suck. However, your higher Self will tell you otherwise. How can you be led to the job of your dreams?
Thanks, Kat. I appreciate your comment. π
Yeah it is pretty simple, once you get the idea of how to do it. As I said, it’s all about belief. Your belief controls everything.
Sounds like the higher self to me. π
That’s why I recommend meditating. It’s so much easier to connect with the higher self when you have a regular practice of meditation.
Can the attitude dissolve on its own? Possibly, but doubtful. or if it does, only after the “failure” reaches a critical mass of suffering, so that one cannot take it anymore.
I know people who have been in unwanted patterns for years. They won’t get out of it because, well, to get out of it requires admitting that responsibility lies with oneself. That’s the tricky part about this game: māyā shows us that it is someone else’s fault. It’s not my pattern that all these jobs were bad, it’s just that all the bosses out there are awful.
The program perpetuates itself. That’s why awakening from the game can be so difficult. Remember the Allegory of the Cave. It takes someone really wanting to be unchained to actually look away from those shadows.
I had a client once who was actually local to me. His mother brought him to me because he was under 18. Anyway we were actually making progress, but just as I start seeing some positive changes in him, his mother has a full-fledged born-again experience to Christianity. Suddenly, all of his problems were due to demons. I felt terribly for the poor kid, because he had actual, real-world problems that needed to be addressed, but they were now simply reducible to “demons”.
Anyway, if you’re in a string of “failures”, the first thing to do would be to change the story. One of the most powerful techniques I’ve learned when faced with a long-lasting pattern is simply to describe it in the past tense. “I used to have a problem with getting good jobs.”
That simple change can often give you the breathing room you need to change the program from within.
I hope that helps. π
Yes, and I know for a fact that there are great jobs out there, since I know people who have them! They attribute it to luck, however, and do not really know how they manifest these great jobs. I also think they know they deserve the best and go for that, and reject all the other stuff.
Sometimes people just have good programs to start with, and so they don’t realize where their success comes from.
Oh, I see! This would be great for the teleclass, as you’ve mentioned. The programs we have, how we can change them, etc. It is very useful!
It makes me sad how some of us are brought up with not the best programming, because then we spend so much time de-programming which can be tough. It is not even our fault, really, just that we let these viruses penetrate. But surely, we are on our way to achieving immunity.
HI Brandon,
How to access the more powerful subconscious thoughts? Feelings are easy but the linked thoughts are hard to identify. Thanks..
Hi CJ,
I suggest going back to my post about the universal search engine.
In general, the thoughts should present themselves. It’s that negative inner voice that tells you you can’t do it, and why.
I’ll be talking a lot about working with the subconscious at great length during The Art of Reality Creation. There’s actually another level besides the subconscious that it is important to be aware of, but I have not discussed it on this blog.
This was really good! I hope you write more in the future, because it is so important, and we are deprogramming ourselves, so we’ll need to read it again. It doesn’t sound that hard to do, though.
I think I can identify with the observer, since, when something happens, bad or good, I feel its presence as smiling at me either way, so that must be it. I always feel smiled upon, so that must be my higher Self. Also, it never utters anything bad, but useful, good simple phrases of no more than a few words or so.
“Similarly, when experiences happen in life, you must realize that these do not really mean anything. They are the manifestations of your past programs, which can be changed. Change the programs, and life changes right along with them. Do not, then, give your belief to these unwanted experiences, either”. The next question that comes up for me after reading this post is about a string of failures. How about if you are in the midst of this? If everyone is pretty much done with you and have no hope for you, the only thing you can do is hold on for the rest of the ride. I think the past programming will dissolve anyway, because you will get tired living in failure. So, a change in attitude will happen on its own, I would say. This is one way to handle it. For example, if you had a sting of bad jobs, you are obviously carrying that program with you, that jobs suck. However, your higher Self will tell you otherwise. How can you be led to the job of your dreams?
Thanks, Kat. I appreciate your comment. π
Yeah it is pretty simple, once you get the idea of how to do it. As I said, it’s all about belief. Your belief controls everything.
Sounds like the higher self to me. π
That’s why I recommend meditating. It’s so much easier to connect with the higher self when you have a regular practice of meditation.
Can the attitude dissolve on its own? Possibly, but doubtful. or if it does, only after the βfailureβ reaches a critical mass of suffering, so that one cannot take it anymore.
I know people who have been in unwanted patterns for years. They won’t get out of it because, well, to get out of it requires admitting that responsibility lies with oneself. That’s the tricky part about this game: mΔyΔ shows us that it is someone else’s fault. It’s not my pattern that all these jobs were bad, it’s just that all the bosses out there are awful.
The program perpetuates itself. That’s why awakening from the game can be so difficult. Remember the Allegory of the Cave. It takes someone really wanting to be unchained to actually look away from those shadows.
I had a client once who was actually local to me. His mother brought him to me because he was under 18. Anyway we were actually making progress, but just as I start seeing some positive changes in him, his mother has a full-fledged born-again experience to Christianity. Suddenly, all of his problems were due to demons. I felt terribly for the poor kid, because he had actual, real-world problems that needed to be addressed, but they were now simply reducible to βdemonsβ.
Anyway, if you’re in a string of βfailuresβ, the first thing to do would be to change the story. One of the most powerful techniques I’ve learned when faced with a long-lasting pattern is simply to describe it in the past tense. βI used to have a problem with getting good jobs.β
That simple change can often give you the breathing room you need to change the program from within.
I hope that helps. π
Yes, and I know for a fact that there are great jobs out there, since I know people who have them! They attribute it to luck, however, and do not really know how they manifest these great jobs. I also think they know they deserve the best and go for that, and reject all the other stuff.
Sometimes people just have good programs to start with, and so they don’t realize where their success comes from.
Oh, I see! This would be great for the teleclass, as you’ve mentioned. The programs we have, how we can change them, etc. It is very useful!
It makes me sad how some of us are brought up with not the best programming, because then we spend so much time de-programming which can be tough. It is not even our fault, really, just that we let these viruses penetrate. But surely, we are on our way to achieving immunity.
Yes, that’ll definitely be in the teleclasses. π
My belief is that these programs carry over from past lives. When I do akashic readings for others, I see the lives that are most related to this one, where these old programs were found, whether good or bad. I did a reading on someone recently who had great compassion due to several of her past lifetimes, but also had some fears around certain subjects due to other lifetimes. it’s all interrelated.
I think these programs are basically the karma or samskaras that eastern philosophies refer to, but I see karma in a different light than they do. Perhaps I’ll write on karma soon.
Yes, that would be great! How fascinating!
What do you mean by you “see the lives” when doing akashic readings? Do you get visual feedback, or memories, emotions, thoughts? How did you learn to do that? Is it an ability you were born with? It sounds fascinating.
Hi Z,
I usually see the events unfold. I’m a mix of a clairvoyant (seeing) and claircognizant (just knowing the information). I’ll see a series of images, and just have information downloaded as well.
I don’t often feel the emotion of it, but with especially traumatic lifetimes, I will.
I have been working on developing my intuition for a long time. It’s gotten much more accurate over the years. I think it’s something anyone can develop, honestly.
I see. How have you been developing your intuition? By meditating alone, or something else as well?
Just practice, honestly. Perhaps I will write a post on it soon. π
HI Brandon,
How to access the more powerful subconscious thoughts? Feelings are easy but the linked thoughts are hard to identify. Thanks..
Hi CJ,
I suggest going back to my post about the universal search engine.
In general, the thoughts should present themselves. It’s that negative inner voice that tells you you can’t do it, and why.
I’ll be talking a lot about working with the subconscious at great length during The Art of Reality Creation. There’s actually another level besides the subconscious that it is important to be aware of, but I have not discussed it on this blog.
The ego is just a tool. Remember, the law of attraction is when you step our of your ego into your higher self. With a string of failures, or when you are down and every man’s hand is turned against you, it’s important just to remember that with each session of meditation, and with each inspired action, you are getting closer to your goal one step at a time. Just walk it down, and suddenly, you will look up and you will be there.
The ego is just a tool. Remember, the law of attraction is when you step our of your ego into your higher self. With a string of failures, or when you are down and every man’s hand is turned against you, it’s important just to remember that with each session of meditation, and with each inspired action, you are getting closer to your goal one step at a time. Just walk it down, and suddenly, you will look up and you will be there.
Happy New Year Brandon.
Was re-reading this piece tonight. It’s such a great blog post. Going to keep this one handy. What are thoughts on the ‘no self’ point of view? Meaning, “There is no I”?
I only started exploring LOA teachings this past year. I was previously well immersed for a number of years in the non-dual teachings and had many of these debates with some of the ‘radical non-dualists’.
But, the reason I ask is because this is a paramount point, I believe for realizing that you ARE the creator as opposed to the non-dual point of view in that ‘there is no do-er”. I see it more that there is no ‘separate’ do-er. But, clearly we are each creating/manifesting.
“It means to live as the programmer of your own reality. It means to realize that you have a choice in every moment to believe the thoughts coming up, and so to give them reality, or to simply let them go and choose something you’d prefer.”
This is really the fundamental step of creation which you mention here.
Hi Derek,
Thanks for your comment. It’s good to see this old post come up again. π
I think you’re exactly right. I used to be a hard-core non-dualist, to the point where I didn’t even see the point of trying to help others. Who is the one that helps? Whom is there to help? Does it matter? Is there meaning?
Non-duality, when taken to its extreme, drains the life out of reality. It makes it sinful to be an “I”, and to have thoughts and opinions and judgments.
I think we are all energy. Personhood is a really complicated thing when it comes to energy. It’s not so defined as we think.
I think the thing to realize is that we are the creator, existing both inside and outside this reality. We are not victims of it. We are creators of it.
Who is that “we”? The Universe, Spirit, our higher selves, Universal Energy, whatever. It doesn’t matter.
In The Art of Reality Creation, I spend the whole first class pretty much talking about theory: who are we? What is the nature of reality? How does the law of attraction work?
But essentially, I agree with what you said above. It’s all about the ability to pick and choose what we believe in. Most people are 100% in the dream, as I’ll call it. Or, in that course, I call it virtual reality. Most people are 100% in it, believing they are totally part of it.
Creators realize they are characters in the VR. They realize that they have the controls for how the VR operates for them. They realize that as solid and concrete as certain things look right now, they can easily be changed. And they change the things they want to be different.
That to me is freedom and liberation. Maintain your grounding in the zero state, in the essence of who you really are, but delve into the world and create what you want to see out there.
Happy New Year Brandon.
Was re-reading this piece tonight. It’s such a great blog post. Going to keep this one handy. What are thoughts on the ‘no self’ point of view? Meaning, “There is no I”?
I only started exploring LOA teachings this past year. I was previously well immersed for a number of years in the non-dual teachings and had many of these debates with some of the ‘radical non-dualists’.
But, the reason I ask is because this is a paramount point, I believe for realizing that you ARE the creator as opposed to the non-dual point of view in that ‘there is no do-er”. I see it more that there is no ‘separate’ do-er. But, clearly we are each creating/manifesting.
“It means to live as the programmer of your own reality. It means to realize that you have a choice in every moment to believe the thoughts coming up, and so to give them reality, or to simply let them go and choose something youβd prefer.”
This is really the fundamental step of creation which you mention here.
Hi Derek,
Thanks for your comment. It’s good to see this old post come up again. π
I think you’re exactly right. I used to be a hard-core non-dualist, to the point where I didn’t even see the point of trying to help others. Who is the one that helps? Whom is there to help? Does it matter? Is there meaning?
Non-duality, when taken to its extreme, drains the life out of reality. It makes it sinful to be an βIβ, and to have thoughts and opinions and judgments.
I think we are all energy. Personhood is a really complicated thing when it comes to energy. It’s not so defined as we think.
I think the thing to realize is that we are the creator, existing both inside and outside this reality. We are not victims of it. We are creators of it.
Who is that βweβ? The Universe, Spirit, our higher selves, Universal Energy, whatever. It doesn’t matter.
In The Art of Reality Creation, I spend the whole first class pretty much talking about theory: who are we? What is the nature of reality? How does the law of attraction work?
But essentially, I agree with what you said above. It’s all about the ability to pick and choose what we believe in. Most people are 100% in the dream, as I’ll call it. Or, in that course, I call it virtual reality. Most people are 100% in it, believing they are totally part of it.
Creators realize they are characters in the VR. They realize that they have the controls for how the VR operates for them. They realize that as solid and concrete as certain things look right now, they can easily be changed. And they change the things they want to be different.
That to me is freedom and liberation. Maintain your grounding in the zero state, in the essence of who you really are, but delve into the world and create what you want to see out there.