You’re aware already that your limiting beliefs are blocking the way to greater success with the law of attraction. You know that the key to greater success is to release these subconscious beliefs, clearing the way for your goal to manifest in your reality.
But the question is, where exactly do these beliefs come from? And, possibly more importantly, How do you prevent yourself from taking on new beliefs?
How You Adopt Limiting Beliefs
The truth is, a lot of these limiting beliefs come from others.
It is possible that certain limiting beliefs may have been adopted from traumatic experiences you yourself had. Perhaps you got your heart broken once, so you’re hesitant to fall in love again.
But the strongest beliefs—the ones that really stick with us, sometimes for a lifetime—are the ones we take on from others.
For instance, as a child, you overhear your parents complaining about how hard money is to come by. They might say that life is unfair, and no matter how hard you work, it’s never enough to get ahead in life.
As a child, you don’t know better. Whatever your parents say, you simply take on as fact. If they say money is hard to earn, then it must be so.
Of course, they don’t just say it once. It’s repeated again and again throughout your childhood. With each repetition, it gets that much more ingrained in your subconscious mind.
So, you grow up, and you carry this subconscious program along with you, which says that money is hard to earn. Subconscious programs seem like fact to us, so most don’t even know that they could challenge it.
And so, you start to create the same kind of life as your parents. Maybe you have a different job, in a different field, but the patterns are all the same.
Pretty soon, you’re passing the same program on to your children. Maybe you even pass it on to an easily influenced friend when they are highly suggestible.
It’s easier to do than you think. Perhaps your friend says she has been having some money issues. And you say, “Oh, that’s life. You can just never get ahead, no matter what you do.” And your friend innocently agrees.
Due to her own stress, she’s in a highly suggestible state. Her subconscious mind goes to work parsing what you said, and if it doesn’t conflict with her own beliefs, then she’ll start to take it on as her own.
However it happens, the virus has been passed on.
Have You Caught the Virus?
I know this might sound rather hyperbolic, to call such limiting beliefs a virus.
But think about it. A virus infects its host. It makes it hard to fight off. And, it tries to find a way to spread itself to a new host.
It’s a wonderful analogy for limiting beliefs. Once they take hold, they begin to create reality in such a way that validate their existence. The “money is hard to earn” belief makes money actually hard to earn, so it seems like the truth. And the more you experience it in outer reality, the more you are convinced of its truthfulness.
This is why limiting beliefs can be so hard to root out. When you look around at life, it seems like you’re just reacting to the hand life has dealt you. It takes a tremendous amount of inner self-reflection to realize that life is as it is, because of the way you see it.
Once you start to see it as true, you begin to share it with others, who may very well take it on themselves.
A virus is most often caught by those with weakened immune systems, such as children. Your “immune system”, in this case, is your subconscious defense against such beliefs. That is, if you already have a strong belief that money is actually easy to earn, and takes very little effort to do so, then you’re going to be immune to such a lack virus.
But for a child who has no such beliefs to fall back on, or an adult who might not have such a strong abundance program, it’ll be much easier for them to adopt this new limiting belief as their own.
Society Seeks to Spread Its “Truths”
Rather I should say, segments of society seek to spread their own “truths”. If you’re born into a poor family, it’s that much easier to remain poor, because they are going to spread this programming to you as well. As I said, once we grow up, we’re highly unlikely to question our own limiting beliefs, especially when they reach all the way into childhood.
The same is true for a wealthy family. Children of wealthy families tend to be wealthy themselves, not only because of large inheritances and all that, but also because they have adopted the “truth” of easy abundance.
The subconscious mind will take on either belief just as easily, whether it is one of lack or one of abundance.
I’m using the example of money, but this works for any belief.
I’ll give an example of my own, which is rather personal.
As a child, I witnessed my family constantly equating beauty with being thin. I would hear my aunt say, “Oh, I’m disgusting! I’ve gained 5 lb.”
So, I started to believe that if I gained weight, even as little as 5 lb., it meant that I was disgusting.
Due to this, I had years and years of self-worth and self-hatred issues, because it was very hard for me to control my weight.
After I met Christine, and eventually got married, I was able to heal a lot of that old programming. I now have more confidence than I ever have. It’s still not perfect, but it’s far better than it was 5 years ago.
It took a lot of inner self-reflection to see how this simple belief was affecting my entire outlook on life. I didn’t have the confidence to date for years, because I didn’t believe anyone would be interested in me. Christine had to virtually chase me down before I’d believe there was a chance.
Anyway, I share the above to illustrate how limiting beliefs, taught to us from others, can affect our lives in the long-term.
How to Be Rid of the Virus
Now, if you know me, you know that I’m all about empowerment. I’m not in the least saying that you are powerless against such “truths”.
I’m simply saying that when someone doesn’t know better, these limiting beliefs integrate themselves seamlessly into their life.
I’ve had clients who have been shocked at the limiting beliefs we’ve uncovered. They never realized that they even had this belief, let alone how much it was influencing their life, until it was unearthed in a spiritual coaching session.
But, by no means are you powerless against these beliefs. As I always say, you have absolute control over your own subconscious mind, and therefore over outer reality, too. This is very good news.
These limiting beliefs most often come up to the surface when you are working towards a big goal.
What you must realize is that when you feel resistance towards that goal, that resistance is just a manifestation of your own limiting beliefs.
So if your goal is to make $5,000 a month, and when thinking of that goal, you feel resistance, you must ask yourself, “Why do I believe that I can’t have this goal?”
Your subconscious mind will answer any question instantly, if you are open to listening. You might be shocked by the things you hear.
You might hear things like:
- “I don’t deserve making that much money.”
- “It’s greedy to want more money.”
- “It’s not spiritual to want money.”
- “Even if I get ahead temporarily, something bad will happen to offset the difference. Why try?”
These are all very common beliefs.
The fact is, you don’t have your goal yet because your subconscious mind believes it is dangerous somehow, due to your own limiting beliefs.
Think about it: if you truly believed that you didn’t deserve more money, why would you allow yourself to have more money?
Or, if you believed that something bad would happen after you start to get ahead, why would you even try?
Your subconscious mind is simply trying to protect you.
Of course, you don’t want its protection, at least not in this way. So, you have to convince your subconscious mind that these things aren’t true.
There are lots of ways to do this. All of the methods I constantly mention as a way of releasing resistance will work, such as radical acceptance, The Sedona Method®, or The Work of Byron Katie.
Let’s take radical acceptance as an example.
Let’s say you have a belief like, “I don’t deserve more money.”
Remember that your subconscious mind reacts on emotions. So, this belief is going to hold a high emotional charge. If you like, you can measure that emotional charge on a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is no emotional charge at all, and 10 is the highest amount.
Also rate it on a scale of believability, where 0 is you don’t believe it at all, and 10 is you take it as indisputable fact.
These ratings will help you to gauge your progress.
Now, repeat that belief to yourself. Sit with it, and allow the emotion to be as it is. Don’t try to change it, or do anything about it. Just let the energy flow.
You’ll soon feel a sense of relief and greater openness.
Now, repeat the belief again. Has its emotional charge diminished? What about its believability?
Just repeat the above steps as many times as it takes for these ratings to come down to 0.
It may not, in fact it probably will not, come down to 0 in a single day. You spent years building up this belief; it might take a bit of time, though not nearly as long, to release it all.
But, as you release it, you’ll see outer reality begin to shift effortlessly. This will happen, even without any purposeful intentions. Your desires were, to this moment, blocked up by this limiting belief. Once you start to release it, you’ll likely see big shifts in outer reality.
Just keep at it. Don’t worry that repeating the belief might reprogram it in your subconscious mind. It will only do so if you react emotionally to it. If you simply let it pass over you, it will not take root.
Avoid Taking On New Beliefs
You will also want to prevent yourself from taking on new limiting beliefs.
If you are in regular contact with your family, or with friends who are immersed in similar situations to what you are trying to separate yourself from, then the virus of their limiting beliefs will try to take root again.
I often tell the story of how I used to be self-conscious about wanting to be self-employed. My mothers “truth” was that you had to get a “real” job to be successful in life. My in-laws’ beliefs were the same, with the addition that you couldn’t be successful without a bachelor’s degree. Of course, I dropped out of college, so that was another point of contention.
Well, they tried to “reinfect” me, if you will, with these beliefs. And, I allowed myself to feel bad about it. I allowed myself to feel like a failure for being the way I was, and wanting what I wanted.
That is, until I decided that it was my life and my path. I realized that they were just speaking from their own personal truths, and their truths didn’t have to be my truths.
And now, they leave me alone about it. I’m immune to the “get a real job” virus, and the “you need a bachelor’s degree” virus. There’s nothing inside me anymore that believes that, and so it is not my truth.
As I said, the way to not take on the belief of another is to simply let it pass over you. Do not react emotionally to it. If you do so, then simply radically accept the emotional reaction, too, and it’ll work just the same.
You must be confident in the truths you wish to adopt. Because, your truths are the foundation of your outer reality. If you’re not careful about the truths that are implanted in your subconscious mind, then you are allowing others to create in your reality.
Don’t Spread the Virus
Be careful, too, not to spread your own viruses.
You have to remember that words are incredibly powerful. It’s not because of the words themselves, but because if the recipient of those words is not on guard, their subconscious mind could take on the meaning of those words literally.
Be careful of the things you say, even in jest. The subconscious mind doesn’t know when you are joking. What you say in jest could very well trigger an emotional reaction in another, and so their subconscious mind will take note.
When speaking to another, only speak what you’d like to be true.
For example, don’t say something like, “I hope you’re not laid off.” Instead say something like, “I’m sure your job is secure.” Or, don’t speak of it at all.
Or, if one of your friends is looking for a job, and complaining about not finding one yet, don’t say, “I know. The job market is so horrible right now.” Instead say, “I’m sure someone with your skills can find a job quickly.”
The former statement will just plant that seed of doubt that because the job market is bad, they shouldn’t be optimistic about finding a job. Meanwhile, the latter statement plants a seed of confidence in them, which will help them to create a reality where a job is easy to find.
Whether they believe your encouragement or not is on them. But, do your best not to spread these limiting beliefs to others.
I know that in Tuesday’s support call, I said not to be fake. And, that is entirely true.
I’m not telling you to lie. As I said in that call, if you have $2 in the bank, don’t tell yourself you’re a millionaire. It’s just not true.
This is more of what we call in NLP, reframing. It’s looking at reality with a different, but still valid, perspective.
The law of attraction is more about interpretation, rather than all-out manufacturing untruths. Your subconscious mind knows that you’re not a millionaire, if you’re not. But, it has no argument to the reframes used above. Those are about interpreting reality as it is, not pretending something is real that obviously is not.
I know this can seem pretty complicated. However, in just over two weeks, I’m offering a teleclass series that is going to go far beyond I ever could in a blog post.
The class is called, The Art of Reality Creation, and it is my best attempt at putting everything I know about the law of attraction into 4.5 hours of content.
There will be techniques taught in that class never even hinted at on this blog. I’ve had near instant manifestations using these techniques.
Plus, if you sign up as a free member of Co-Creation Coaching before this Sunday, you can get 25% off this teleclass series.
You can learn more by just clicking below:
How About You?
Now it’s your turn. Have you been able to identify the limiting beliefs you’ve adopted in your own life? Were you surprised to learn how these beliefs have affected your outer reality? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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What a great read for the morning! I can feel the positive momentum spinning~ First, let me just mention that the link to your new class is broken, so you can fix it.
I definitely can tell that certain limiting beliefs of others (including the events in their realities) have influenced me. For example, regarding the college I’m at, there are beliefs that you have to study at least this long and this much to be able to pass a certain exam. There are also facts that such exams have low passing rate, so I tend to believe that I have a very low chance with them.
Limiting beliefs around money and employment seem to be dominant everywhere. Many people believe that you can’t get a good job nowadays without a certain degree. Yet, there are people with PhD that can’t find a job! I consider this a good thing, because it’s slapping us in the face yelling that degrees really can mean nothing. There are people with low education being very successful, just by trusting and following their passion.
For the past several years, I’ve been looking on the internet for ways of me improving my life, and I’ve been led down a road. Each time I found something, I wanted something simpler, easier to understand, without all the rules, rituals and procedures. Eventually I found you, and I love your simple approach. Simple way of intending, simple way of allowing, easy to understand explanations on the subconscious and vibration. Thank you, and keep on the good work!
Hey Z,
Thanks so much. I’ve fixed the link. 🙂
Yeah, I know of people with doctoral degrees who aren’t really that well off, as you say. Education has very little to do with success, unless you allow it to.
You’re right that it is very simple. No need to overcomplicate this stuff. 🙂
I appreciate your comments.
Another great post. I tried the exercise you described and it did help. I especially like how you are measuring the belief on two dimensions (emotional charge and believability). This helps me because there are a lot of minor limiting beliefs that I have only a small charge about but a 10 on how true I think it is! It’s an interesting situation, because these beliefs cause minor problems to show up and because the issues are so small, I have not really bothered to clean them up. But realizing that I believe them so strongly makes me reassess how meaningful they are in my life. They may not be causing that much trouble, but it’s still weird to realize that I am so fervent about an idea that actually isn’t helping me. It gives me more motivation for change (without the stress of huge emotional charges). Thanks, Brandon!
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your comment. 🙂
Yeah that can happen sometimes. A belief just seems to be true, without necessarily having a lot of emotion behind it.
I would guess, though, that as you begin to work through that belief, the underlying memories probably have a little more emotional charge to them. Either way, it’s perfectly fine.
I’m glad the technique helped. 🙂
I second what Z said! Ditto!
Thanks Kat. I appreciate your comment. 🙂
I agree with a great deal in this post. There have been have been several studies on the adoption of beliefs and behaviors from modeling our parents or loved ones in their interactions. With the way you have applied and presented this topic, it is very easy to understand and relate to in comparison! The other point I wanted to mention was in regard to infecting people with our words. Tone of voice is very important when speaking to others. That can also open us to infection so to speak if we aren’t careful.
Lastly, I don’t think everyone needs a degree to be successful. Passion, and purpose are great drivers to have. Degrees don’t necessarily mean nothing- most things that we have put effort into earning mean something. Our society has determined the meaning of things, and other factors come into play too, like demographics, availability, etc. The degrees themselves aren’t meaningless, but the combo of factors render them so.
Getting a job is a struggle no matter what these days. Degree or no degree. Some jobs do require it and in that case it becomes a necessary item to have. In my case, it helped me get my current job, but thankfully, although it is slow going, we have come to a point today where the value of experience is now on the table for discussion. There was an awesome commercial I saw the other day that featured a woman telling her potential employer she didn’t have a degree yet, and the boss replied,with something like “well, I think my company would be at a loss without someone with your experience.” He was on board with hiring her. I was so excited to see this. If I find the link I am going to post it. There are a lot of free courses that are now being offered as well. Things are changing!
Thanks so much for your comment Jen. 🙂 Very good points.
That commercial sounds great. 😀 Yes, experience is really so much more important than anything else.
I love this! Reminds me of Bashar’s technique where you ask yourself “what do i believe is true about myself to be manifesting x?”
Then once the beliefs come up they start to appear more ridiculous once you say them out loud.
One trick i like to use is to challenge the negative beliefs truthfulness. Neg beliefs make themselves appear so absolute and definite when they are just beliefs like any other.
So if i have a belief like “i am not attractive enough or successful enough”..i will ask, ok do i know this to be 100% absolute concrete truth? Can i find examples that say otherwise?
Which will cause me to come up with lots of examples where i was pretty enough or times in the past where i was successful. If i cant find examples in my life i can use other scenarios i have seen to disprove the neg belief.
I find if i do that it weakens it quite a bit …and a lot of its “dont change me or bad things will happen!” power is taken away.
Hi @EL,
Thanks. yes that is very effective. You might like to look into The Work of Byron Katie, as it is quite similar to what you outlined. It’s a method of self-inquiry, to see the falsehood of all beliefs.
Wow thank you I checked out some of her work yesterday haha I had no idea I was even using some of her techniques. Nice synchronicity there.
Thank you again for this amazing blog. I used your question again yesterday about “why do I believe I can’t have the relationship I want?” and a few things came up, but the biggest one was: “well, the relationship won’t last, what if he doesn’t have the qualities you want? it won’t end well like the last one, so why bother dating…”
The shocking part was I was completely unaware I had this fear. So I am now working on trying to ease the fear and anxiety that came up whenever I consider that the next relationship may or may not end up the way I want it to..